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I am a firm believer that God uses tools and instuments human and otherwise to provide guidance in our lives. While the Bible is the primary source for faith, direction and wisdom I further believe that in His grace and mercy he allows other things to light the path since human nature seems to resist often the purity of the Bible.

I had a very serious breach of faith towards the end of 2005 and had what I refer to as the mid-life crisis. There are two people on the forums that know the sad truth of that very dark time (one in somewhat detail and the other in more general terms). The crisis to all intents and purposes lasted from approximately November 2005 to February 2006 and I note that I discovered Litnet quite by accident in March 2006 while looking for any reference to Frederick Nebel (a detective story writer just a level below Hammett and woefully unreprinted to any great degree.

My introduction to Litnet was experimental and tentative. I quickly got over the delightful discovery that certain books I had wanted to read were now available whenever the Long Suffering Wife would surrender the computer and these quickly became treated in my usual style of I'll get to them when I get to them--all the time in the world. Echoes of Fame I'm Going to Live Forever drift thru the grey cells--probably thanks to the upcoming remake movie.

I began to notice right off the cordial atmosphere that most posters display on a routine basis and often wish Baptist church meetings could go as well come budget time let alone Comic Book Discussion forums which I rarely partake in anymore due to the name calling and the lamentable lack of appreciation for the history of the medium.

My first few posts were largely ignored and I sensed a great talent for thread killing on my part. At about this time a certain moderator began to take an interest (mood killers would say she was just doing her job) and encouragement to hang in there was offered. I assure you the beloved Logos has had to pick me off my feet a number of times. I once deleted all my blog entries and friends listings during a period of what I call my dark moods when I was more then aware of my failings and ready to seek a monastery to wash dishes in the rest of my life. Sigh.

Certain people began to communicate and take an interest. I shall always remember the Countess wondering where I was the day I discovered I had cancer (which a day later the Mrs. finally remembered to tell me was non-lethal--but by golly it was the real deal so there!!!! Grace86 became my very first friend on the site here followed by others at steady, leisurely pace that has helped bring peace and stability to my life and comfort and even though Uncle Sam is finally taking charge of my finances with excessive zeal I can say my life still seems to matter after all this time.

Instead of the curse the mid-life crisis could have been I have further led to greater joy and a sense of belonging then I have had for many years. If that had not happened and I was looking for a safe harbor I might never have been here and AndaveYa could have seen Virgil a day sooner.

Dedicated as always to my favorite moderator Logos.

P.S.--Please help me rebuild my friends section. I think I am past the scorched earth policy of pushing blessings aside in dark times.