day in a life

working so hard these days at projects for school, I really missed it. I'm in a class about children's literature and I had to write an essay about my favourite book as a kid. A book that was read for me so I had to try and remember what book was my favourite when I was like 4 years old. I finally remembered the Nighttime book by Mauri Kunnas, a book with a lot of pictures about what is going on while you sleep. The people who are working at night and the insomniac also a sheep that walks in his sleep and is very surprised when he wakes up in the morning in his bed with dirty feet. When I started recalling this book I was amazed at how many details I remembered, it has been years since my mom threw it away because I'd read it until it fell apart. Now I'm working on a kind of a short story that is supposed to be about some childhood memory, that is a difficult one. I don't know how to write the truth, I always start on some fiction but that is not the project at hands.

a strange thing I'm realizing, I have always wanted to have a routine but now people around me are telling me that in some ways I'm like the tv detective Monk. I checked out a few shows, loved them, and realized that a lot that annoys him would also annoy me. Like a bend in a curtain or a tie that's not straight, I also always want to take the same route home from work and from playschool, if who's driving takes another route I feel like I'm not coming to the house in a correct way. A lot of stuff like that. One woman at work said the other day 'oh this is just how Helga is' when I didn't want to use the toaster because the place were I always put my toast was occupied and I would have had to put it in the front... don't know if this is normal, one woman asked if had been checked for Tourette. I don't think it's that serous, and I didn't know this was like Tourette, but what do I know.

My son has been really testing me these past few days. If I tell him to take his feet of the table he stares at me and pretends like he dosen't care. I never back down and I think it's just a phase he's going through but I can't help but feel like such an idiot when it comes to making decisions about raising him or how to teach him right from wrong. He as always been so sweet and a few problems, easy to take the pacifier away and taking the diaper and stuff like that, and he loves smaller children always playing with them and kissing and hugging them. But for some reason he's challenging me these days.