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Twilight Zone

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by
Countess
, 06-07-2007 at 11:20 AM (1353 Views)
I swear I live in the Twilight Zone.

First, the phone rings and I, thinking it is a telemarketer (they're the only ones that ever call me), answer with a curt "Hello". The woman on the other end says "Hi, I'm a recruiter for Said Technology Agency and we came across your resume."

Initially I am shocked (an employer other than Walmart who is interested in me); then I want to (as Dostoevsky says) "melt into the earth" from shame.
I apologize profusely for being rude and tell her I thought she was a telemarketer. She laughs and understands.

Then I check my Vampire Freaks account and some New Orleans guy wants me to model his bondage furniture. I am both flattered and horrified. The other day the lead singer from Doomsday Refreshment Committee flirted with me (after his second comment I realized he wasn't just doing the obligatory "Thanks for buying my album"), which did alot for my self-esteem since I feel old, ugly and unwanted.

I guess I really do scream "FREAK" cos only the freaks are interested in me. That, and a guy on MySpace who has, like, 1.5 million beautiful women as "friends", which totally disqualifies his opinion, if you ask me. I want to be one of the few, not 16,562 out of 1.5 million.

Okay, enough with my pathetic romantic life. Oh, brother.
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Comments

  1. Niamh's Avatar
    bondage furnature! lucky you! Yikes!
  2. mtpspur's Avatar
    I must confess to some drooling and contemplation that maybe there is something to be said for furniture shopping after all and I've missed opportunities all these years letting the long suffering one do it all.
  3. andave_ya's Avatar
    How in the name of all that's wonderful do you model furniture? What IS bondage furniture? Boy oh boy, I'm seriously out of it.
    And furthermore, you posted a very gorgeous picture on this site and you are miles away from ugly, old, and unwanted. :
  4. Countess's Avatar
    I just don't see myself laid out on a torture rack in some guy's house while he takes pictures. Besides, what if said nut-case decided torture wasn't enough - it's not like I could escape. I would be on a rack! That said, I wouldn't mind tying Orlando Bloom up - er - nevermind..............Andave, I don't know what bondage furniture is; I'm guessing it's racks and items with handcuffs attached.
  5. Niamh's Avatar
    who wouldnt like to tie Orlando Bloom up!...
  6. kiz_paws's Avatar
    Hmmmm .... did someone say New Orleans...? Now that WOULD be tempting... Your life, dear Countess, is far from boring, I must say!
  7. kathycf's Avatar
    You certainly not old (hee hee, I say that because I am older than you....but still, you are what 37? Not old. I am going to be *gulp* turning 41 next month and while that isn't old either it is as old as I have ever been so I do relate to what you are saying) and you are most assuredly not ugly. I think feeling unwanted may stem from a lot of things....some internal and some external. The same goes for feeling old and ugly... In other words there is emotional baggage and then there are actual circumstances that people live in. If I lived in Florida, I think I would like to go out for coffee with you. So see? Somebody wants you. (although not in a sexy way! I don't want to tie you to bondage furniture! )
  8. GrayFoxDown's Avatar
    There's something Sylvia Plath-like about you, Countess: your erratic imagery bordering on the tragic yet sensual, the fatalistic yet hopeful. Your writing style is captivatingly enjoyable; your sense for the abstract, keen and instinctive. Finally, the dark recesses of despair you seem to hover towards are dispelled by an equally dark and engaging sense of the ludicrous. Anyone who could be a "miltant conservative" (as you claim) is already defying the law of gravity anyway...(and you're very pretty, despite what you think or pretend).

    Bondage furniture? Now years ago, my ex-wife once bought...but that's not important. Regards,