day in a life

I have been going over the poems I wrote when I was younger, from like 12 years old and man it's all about crushes on some guys, can't believe that was so much on my mind. I remember some of them but most is just a blurry memory of a time I'd rater forget. I hated being a teen, didn't have many or any friends thinking nobody liked me or would ever like me, pushed away those who did want to hang out with me. bad times I don't want to think about.

But I do wonder if everybody thinks in a similar way about these years. If it's a difficult time for many people... I was so self centered that I only saw how great it was for everybody else and how bad it was for me. I was obsessed with why guys never liked me, I had a friend who had the problem of to many guys liked her, girls too, everybody wanted to be her friend and be with her. she would be so annoyed when she was in a store and a guy she hardly knew wanted to ask her out. I hated her problem.

on to other things.... I am really enjoying the idiot. it has taken me a while reading it, mainly cause some time I just want to read poems or just something else so I am only just finishing the first book. but I really like it, two people I know gave up after the first one but I'm gonna read the whole thing. I have been reading a bit of Icelandic poetry, just 'met' a bit of a comic poet. he only published one book of poetry in 1924 I think under an alias. it's a nice change to read something funny and ironic but still very well written. I wish people could read the Icelandic poets in their tongue. your missing out on a lot of good work.

my step dad just gave me the Whitman collection, I had only read a few of his poems but wasn't really a fan but now I'm checking him out again and some of his work is very good.

I have also been focusing a lot on school these days, it hasn't started but I just can't wait. I made plan so I can hopefully graduate in a year and a half and when I do I'll hopefully stop working and start collecting student loans... hope I won't need them a lot but it will come in handy at some point. I have so many interesting classes left, at some point I'll take class about Tolkien and another about sci-fi, I do wish they had other books by Tolkien though, it's just the Lord of the Ring trilogy, I'd like to read more of his other work and talk about it cause the Lotr is something so many have read and have talked about, but it will of course be fun to do projects and essays on them. the sci-fi class is with both books and movies, one of my favourite movie 'Donnie Darko' is in it because of the time travelling theme in it.

I love school. things seem to be going OK for now and they'll be teaching many classes so I can hopefully finish the way I want to......