The Nation of the Glorious Turnip

I sure do blog a lot lately.

So what is the purpose really? There must be a reason, but frankly there just isn't any, we have this thing called life, and everyone does something with it, no matter how small, they do something, but why? I just don't get it. I'm not saying that you should end it prematurely but why try to drag it on for as long as possible. Sure there are lots of things you can experience, there is plenty to do and you really never need to be bored, but that's it, nothing more to it. survive long enough to procreate and then you can die.

Now there is a thought. Richard Dawkins, that's right, the biologist and a strong advocate for atheism, he makes a good case and explains our purpose quite well in his books, which I won't bother to summarize, just read them, starting with The selfish gene. Even so I still ask, what is the purpose of genes, what is the purpose of the universe? Why is it there? It's not just existence that I wonder if it has a purpose. Existence doesn't cover it. I can't comprehend it, no one can probably, just try to envision the lack of existence of any kind. No universe, no god, nothing. Even nothing wouldn't exist. It defies all logic, all belief, but that is truly what you have to find out if you want to understand existence. To use a real world example, left has no purpose if there is no right, and yes, clever people will say that you can always go straight onward, and they're right, there are no absolutes, which suggest that to understand left, you have to understand everything between left and right, including straight on. There is no right if there is no wrong. There is no existence without anti-existence.

Religious or spiritual or other similar people probably think I'm dumb (I just might be) because of course God is there, or any other form of spiritual or supernatural force. Really I ask? What is his existence, and what is his lack of existence? I wish to understand why you think that in this universe, or even beyond, there can be such a thing as God. I thought long and hard on this, and while I concede there might be God-like entities in the universe that are seemingly supernatural, they certainly are not that. They are as natural as you and me, as is the entire universe. They might be of mindboggling and power, they might even be able to do everything one can imagine a God does, but that is still just that. Why are they in existence? Why existence?

Sure now you must think I am depressed and well, maybe I have less than happy over this before, but I realized something, something grand. Without purpose, nothing really matters, at all. It is all irrelevant! Everything is irrelevant. If I die tomorrow, that is irrelevant, if I live to be a 100, that too is irrelevant. Thus, through irrelevance, I am free.

This lack of purpose on such a scale makes you free, but you instantly enslave yourself to relevance. It is easy to tell yourself that you have purpose, create this veil that obfuscates the real deal. Maybe you belief in God, maybe you think that what you do matters to others, it probably does, and that is purpose, on a small enough scale, a human scale. The problem is thinking beyond humanity, contemplate more than just you, your family, your friends, your race, your species, your planet, your solar system, your Galaxy, your Universe and so on. Where does it end? It can be quite frustrating to realize that the human mind is so very limited. I know mine is. Even as more and more is explained about the universe, science or anyone else has yet to explain the biggest question of all. Why?

Of course, not thinking too much is a good way to keep yourself happy, and I try, but my mind doesn't always agree with me. It likes to question what it sees, what it experiences, what it knows. It's a giant flaw, and our minds will be our undoing eventually. Evolution shot itself in the foot big time, or maybe not, I cannot know in my lifetime what will happen. Perhaps I missed something, in fact I am quite sure I missed a lot. I am only human.

With being human comes more than just a mind, we are not being of pure thought, we are beings with a body we have to control with our nervous system. It's a complex system and it doesn't allow you to be as free as you might want. We serve our body, or body does not serve our thought. We might like to think we do, and in some ways we do, but the programming might conflict, we are in a perpetual state of Beta testing, rooting out the bugs by selection, while also shuffling the set of features, which brings new bugs. We are the Alpha, but Omega is far, far beyond our reach. I am full of bugs, big ones, small ones, some I can neglect or ignore, others rear their ugly head. I am a beta version, and not nearly the best one out there.

So why then, do I still continue on, I am clearly very much flawed, very much without purpose, so why bother? Aspire to nothing.
People often jokingly invoke the big questions in life, Why are we here? Where are we going? They don't think about it, and laugh. I laugh with them. They do not need to know this question hurts me more than anything in the world.

I am myself. I am without purpose. I question even when there is no answer. I feel alive to the tune of a broken record.

Pretentious.

Full of ****.

Convoluted.

Repeating myself over and over again.

I can't stop thinking and my mind is too small.