Barmy Blue's Bland Blog

Just a sort entry. Nothing much new. I guess I’m trying to catch up. If I hadn’t been so lazy I might still have the most entries. But what does that matter, it’s not a contest. Though I do wonder who will hit 200 first. I doubt it’d be me, I’m just too damn lazy .
Oh and cheers for your congratulations…. Why do I keep saying cheers? I don’t know, I guess it’s because I’m adjusting my mental vocabulary for my pirates and I’m trying to use it out loud (or in words, in this case ).

I guess I’m a bit bored at the moment. I’ve no lessons on Thursdays….

Hold everything, my stomach’s eating it’s lining again (Rumbling in other words) Time to break into my break time sarnie, after break .
What is it today? I should know because I made it
It’s bacon. Bacon which I’ve put in the wrong way. It’s horizontal in relation to the cut in half making it tricky to eat without hurting my teeth. This isn’t soft bacon, that’s quite bland when cold in a sarnie, it’s crispy, pre cooked bacon which has a stronger flavour in a sarnie, can’t beat the freshly cooked stuff on its own though.
Bread seems a bit off, could just be me though.

What am I doing?
Good question, what am I doing?
Just typing the first thoughts that come into my head while I eat.

I have finally named my last two pirate lords, now I have all ten;
1) Jack Rackham
2) Henry Morgan
3) Mary Read
4) Bartholomew Roberts
5) Grace O’Malley
6) Edward Teach
7) James Hook
8) Anne Bonny
9) Long John Silver
10) Davy Jones

Not their real names of course but you don’t need real names amongst the space pirates. They’ll actually do you an injury if you don’t sound like a pirate. The Jones family were one of the first to go (possibly the first, I haven’t decided) Which allowed time for the name Davy Jones to be associated with one of their “primordial” gods, as they call them. Soon he became the god of death and keeper of the underworld and extreme foreboding which resulted in him being mixed with the Albatross (They kept the old superstitions) and often appearing in the form of an albatross or having the head and/or wings of an albatross. This ultimately led to him becoming the god of the sky, especially when the Rackham family eliminated the last of the Roberts’ leaving just three families the;
Rackhams
Morgans
Reads
Who evenly divided the territories into three, seemingly, equal parts.
The Rackhams took the sky (space pirates remember, so they fly as well as sail) but what the others didn’t realise at the time was that the surrounding area of space was also counted as the sky, giving the Rackhams even more power.
The Morgans took the sea where most of the pirate colonies were located, as further inland is where the bounty hunters dwell.
And the Reads were given the land, mainly because it was the least significant to the pirates and the Rackhams saw the women as the weaker sex, something which the Reads have disputed throughout their lives. Mary Read taught her children to love torturing men for no reason except that they were men. The sons she bore were tolerated as they may be the only way to continue their family line, but the second she had a daughter their days were numbered. This tradition was passed down through all of the women in her line. They only sailed with women as their crew and men were judged by their likelihood of producing strong offspring. They rarely married and sometimes had to resort to cloning techniques and IVF to produce their heirs (as that’s quite acceptable on their planet, providing you can afford it, and it’s none too cheap).
The Read line will finally come to an end several generations later when there are just three pirate lords remaining;
Jack Rackham (a common first name in the Rackham family. The first born son is always called Jack) a man as cruel, corrupt and twisted as his ancestors.
Edward Morgan (First name comes from Edward Teach (Blackbeard, a prominent figure in their pirate legends)) quite young and only recently appointed pirate lord after the death of his father. He’s rather inexperienced and blond haired (which has always been frowned upon buy the pirate lords and the boy has to either prove himself to be a wimp or a blood thirsty tyrant. If he is found the former then he is likely to be the last in his family’s line and the latter he earns their respect.)
Grace Read (named after Grace O’Malley) also young but very independent and impulsive, having been a pirate “Lady” (never say pirate lord to them, even if you’re a woman, they really don’t like it and men are likely to lose their valuables for it, women will be punished by a fist in the jaw) for longer than Edward Morgan. She has her family’s love of torturing men and particularly enjoys fighting.
Rackham will be defeated though not necessarily killed and when everyone is rejoicing, Edward Morgan and Grace Read decided to get married. (Pirate captains are allowed to conduct marriages onboard their ship, so they’re not short of opportunities.) They are married by the heroine of the story onboard her ship named The Revenge (since yesterday when I wrote it on my list of ships and thought, hey, that’ll do nicely). Her service is far from what we’d call orthodox, especially when she uses terms like bilge rat instead of man etc. but by pirate standards, anything goes.
It’ll be quite a bright future for them, seeing as Read will refuse to give up her last name and insist Morgan take hers (if names need be exchanged at all) and who’ll wear the trousers? As if you have to ask, he’ll gladly let her take control of everything, having never actually wanted to be a pirate lord anyway and only being forced into it because of his family.

Currently I’m trying to design the other seven pirate lord’s/”ladies’” Jolly Rogers.
James Hook has two hooks in a cross and the image of a crocodile to one side (He’s got a bit of an obsession with them)
Long John Silver’s is quite large and features a full length skeleton missing it’s right (Because it "looked better that way") leg and using a crutch, a cutlass is in it’s left hand and it’s supposed to represent the spirit of the “real” Long John Silver watching over this pirate who bares his name.

The surviving three pirate lords had their Jolly Rogers designed a while ago so I just need to fill in the last few, then I’ll have to do one for the Revenge too, I already have ideas for it. I’m, thinking of writing out a full profile of all of the pirate lords. I’ll see how I go.


Well, I thought this was going to be a short entry and I’ve done what I said I wouldn’t do, go on about my idea. I may lose interest in it soon anyway, I don’t know, so why not document things? I wish I’d done it sooner because in the early planning stages of the crew for the (recently named) Revenge I invented a boy that was a humanoid rat and one of the mechanics on the ship, but I forgot what I called him and I still can’t remember now.
Along with the pirate lords, I’m also plotting out the history of the boy named Icarus who has been comatose since he was brought aboard the ship. The choice of the name Icarus turns out to be strangely ironic.

Well, that’s enough chit chat I guess. I have to return the book to the library some time today.

Bluebiird out