day in a life

there is a campaign on drugs these days and to my surprise they are using real stories and the relatives are saying how their family member was before and after. I was very shocked the other night when I saw one about an old friend of mine who killed himself a few years ago. his parents were talking about him. he was a real addict and loved it. never tried to stop and tried to get me to try it, I never did but he kept asking me to try. we weren't good friends, he was more of a friend of a friend but we would spend a lot of time together.

I wish I didn't have to work and could just go to school and focus on that. I just want to read and write. school has always been something I enjoy. I have been looking through Blake these past few days and I am always so amazed by his work. the sick rose is my favourite. I read that when my sister in law and I went to his grave, I took a short trip to London a few years ago and visited the graves of some of my favourite poets and I picked my favourite poems by them. at Westminster abbey people started staring at us when we got to poets corner and recited a few poems. I love cemeteries the peace and history of every body that is lying there. I don't believe in God or anything and people have been bugging me about what I should tell my son, people just think it's easy to say that someone who has died is up in heaven with God. my mom think I should say that and let him decide when he grows up, but I can't tell him that my dad is in heaven when I don't believe that myself. also my sister in law has said that she can't understand people who don't teach their kids about God. I'm a bit alone in this, my step dad agrees with me but nobody else.

sometimes I wish I could change people.. I don't think it would be a good idea but it would help me out a lot...