Rubaiyats of Lote-Tree

Dante's Inferno

So why are you here again?

I want to talk to myself again because I have not spoken to myself for ages.

But why talk to yourself?

Because that is the only way I can ensure some intelligent conversations! Oh the Blackadder stuff again! Do you not have any originality at all? No. If I did I would be a writer. But you can't even spell!? Neither could Shakespeare! Like "Othello" should be spelt "Atta Ullah" so I am told!

“MIDWAY upon the journey of my life, I found myself within a dark forest...” hey thats Dante! Yes. So begins Dante Alighirie's poem “The Inferno”. In it Dante depicts an imaginary journey through the Nine Circles of Hell to meet Lucifer himself! Yes. I know that. I read it when I was at college. You tend to read that kind of stuff at that age. Yes but "normal" kids at your age were into girls. Hey I am into girls too! In fact girls was and still is my number one interest. Can you not read Dante and be interested in girsl? Off course you can. So I was saying the poem was crying out to be made into a Computer Game! Really? Off course! Where else could you find a hellish landscapes, demons, and other hellish monstrosities and end of level boss who is evil incarnate?

The game company EA Arts just done that! The game itself is loosely based on this poem in that you descend through the nine circles of hell and you are guided by the Roman Poet Virgil at the behest of Dante’s immortal Love Beatrice Potinari.

You battle denizens of hell with the Death’s Scythe and a Holy Cross that blasts Pure White light to incinerate the monstrous minions of the underworld.

Visually the game is great as in it's quite hellish! You get to see rooms made of pulsating vaginas, rivers of boiling blood and the damned in torment; and you get to meet Cleopatra and see her realistically bouncing boobs from which little babies come out with hands made of knives! Revolting! In the Circle of Gluttony you get to punish fat people!

And as you journey through hell you get to either Redeem the Damned or Punish them. Absolving the damned of their sins makes your Holy Cross powerful. And if you punish them your Scythe becomes more vengeful.

“Abandon hope all who enter here!”

I have!