The Masterpieces and me in Searching for Secret Grail

Welcome to my first blog post

A Conversation with Oscar Wilde



*How sad is that! I shall become old, ugly and disgusting .And this picture will stay always young and never be older then this June day…..Oh,if it only could be opposite! If I could stay young forever, and the picture getting old.! For that-for that i would give everything. For that i would give my SOUL!
!



Mr.Wilde:Youth!Youth!There is absolutely nothing but Youth! The Youth is only thing worth to live for. The beauty is a form of Genius–even more then genius ,for it doesn’t need any explanation. It has own divine right of sovereignty;of the ones, who are in possession of beauty, creates *the Princes*

ME: Dear Mr.Wilde, i completely understand what you say.Being young forever is pure Art and Perfection. And you are a person living for the Beauty.You said that an artist is a creator of the beauty.

Wilde: The goal of the life is self-improvement.In present times people are afraid of themselves.I believe, if every man lived through own life completely to the very end,and gave a form to every feeling, an expression to every thoughts, reality to every dream,i believe the world would get a new enthusiasm of joy that would return us to the Hellenistic ideal or maybe to something more beautiful and richer.

ME: That is I’m doing all my lifetime.My living has been the way of self improvement. Don’t ask me to say how high price i paid to reach where i am now. It was accomplished by great renunciation and efforts of my mind. The thinking that was leading to the edge of the madness!

Wilde:In the mind, and only in the mind happen the greatest sins of the world.

Meo you want to tell that i am sinful, that i carry a load of sins, because of my chosen way of improvement and wining over old age? For i broke some limits to be attribute of *normal* people? Am i in sin? You know, in the past suspect persons had been burned at the stake. If I had lived in the time i would have experienced a destiny of a Witch. I would be burned!

Wilde: Nothing can cure a soul but Sense,as nothing treats sense except soul!

Me: You, Mr.Wilde,you gave the apple of Cognition in the hands of Dorian Grey! As Eve took a forbidden fruit.passion,sense and every hidden thoughts and desires now become a reality, in Dorian’s Life!

Wilde: You, Dorian,have the most amazing youth , and youth is the only thing that is worth of having.But, one day,when you have gotten old,wrinkled and ugly you would feel the importance of my words.When your youth has gone ,your beauty gone as well. Because of that you need to live full life. Don’t miss anything!

Me:So, Mr Wilde you gave an endorsement to Dorian Grey. Nothing stays on his way anymore; no moral, no pity for anybody.

/Dorian: As sad it is! I shall become ugly, old and disgusting. And this picture will stay young forever….If it could be reverse! If I could stay Young and the Picture getting old!/

Me: The soul has been sold!I have noticed Mr. Wilde, you didn’t mention DEVIL !It is unique. Goethe and Bulgakov don’t hide Devil.He is present from the very beginning in their Creation.You are different in that regard.I am not sure why, maybe you were thinking that life inevitable bears all the load of evil, vices, perversions, murders and…..and no need to put a figure of devil!

And who is guilty for unhappy end of Dorian’s Love? Or a better question; What happened when Dorian Grey fell in love with a beautiful young girl /a character from Novel-Julia,Rozalinda.. To much perfections that you craving to in your passion to art and Beauty.Life is not a perfect picture on a canvas, unfortunately it brings its wrangles .Dorian has disappointed in his love-she didn’t realize his expectations of a great artist and brought shame on he/

/Dorian: You killed my love,my fantasy got excited by you.I loved you, because you were magic, for having talent and spirit, for realizing dreams of great poets.Without Art you are nothing!/

And Repentance had come, but too late.Sibile killed herself.

Was it first big sin of Dorian?

Wilde: For one man to be good,it means being in harmony with oneself.Disharmony appears when man has been forced to bring own life into accord with lives of the others.

Dorian: Basil, everyone carries in oneself heaven and hell.

Me:You,Mr Wilde, even didn’t know nor feel a premonition of coming crime that would be committed by Dorian? I am wondering myself ,how it is possible ,that you didn’t know what has been happening in his soul?Oh,how arrogant you are! Fell in love with yourself! Blind and deaf! I’m thinking how many people like Dorian walking the streets ,our friends, lovers or just common passersby and we know nothing about what terrible thoughts flow through their minds.

The only,genuinely touched by Dorian fateful transformation, was Basil,who was delighted by Dorian and thanks to such great love made his masterpiece. He had courage to ask Dorian for penitence, to pray God for farewell of sins.

Yes, Mr Wilde we are getting close to the end of the story.

Mr. Wilde:Tell me Dorian how did you succeed to stay young? It must be you have a Secret. You are ideal of what our community seek, though is afraid of finding. I am so glad you never did anything or created whatever which could exist out of you! The LIFE is your ART!



Me: After all, I believe there are no many who completely understand this masterpiece. It is not so simply as at first sight looks like,let alone to imagine that a fact of exchanging between * getting old a picture* and *staying young of Dorian *makes an explanation.More, it doesn't sense because of my case,i won old age, and never committed such evil things!

It was just an idea, from which, Oscar Wilde began his story. It resembles a puzzle, maybe to be indeed.

Let’s imagine my way. Since my childhood i knew and was aware of something especial waiting for me and my life would not look like as lives of common people.I chose to improve myself, and i achieved it with great renunciations and strenuous mind practice. Sometimes, it led to the edges of Madness! It was very important to me to live in harmony with my thoughts; my body experienced a transformation along with the particles of my spirit. I was born again and made myself a Creator of my Life-i was ARTIST!

What would Mr. Wilde say on my confession? I am sure he would become astonish of possibility of being witness of my Art Life!

You are as much yourself’s own as live in accordance with your feelings and spirit. Just do what you want, don’t allow the others influence and lead your life!

And now comes *the best part*, I know you are wondering: what about evil? Where have all dirty,ugly,immoral and shameful been? All this lays in the souls of observers- people in your surrounding who have been filled with hate, spite ,unable to love yourself ,and because of that becoming punished by Wrangles on their faces ,their souls become polluted. They are my *PICTURE* that bears Malice and Envy coming from them.



To be continued….