Eugenie

I have not had a break, a real day to myself since, well I cannot remember.
Having so many things going at once that absolutely need tending to, others who depend on me, it has been virtually impossible.
So I was so thrilled and overcome when my brothers approached me and said that , even though they work so very very hard morning to night at their jobs, they wanted me to have a real day off each week, just for me like they do.
I felt both absolute joy and tearful. To have brothers so giving and kind, it almost hurts my heart. They have had the same sorrows and hardship as me, so it really means something.
So here it was, my first real day and I was supposed to sleep in,Asher said he would be up with the little one and do any work needing done until Petra came home and he would take over.
I awoke at four in the morning and was oblivious that it was my day off until the fog lifted in my brain. Bummer, and I was sad because I knew I would not be able to go back to bed.
But oh well, so I fixed my breakfast and had my cuppa, well two actually. Then I started on dishes, forgetting again it was my day. MY D A Y .
At some point Asher, it was one of his two days off, awoke and flew into the kitchen totally upset that I had fixed my own breakfast and was doing dishes.
'Oh that's alright' I said, I will just relax and do what I want the rest of the day".
He and the little angel got dressed, groomed and headed out the door for breakfast in the town.
Petra left for work and instead of my sending him with a huge lunch and his steel thermos the size of a fridge, he decided to eat across the street from his work each monday from then on.
How wierd.
When the house was silent I wandered around, then came on computer, then wandered.
I groomed and then watched Lord of the Rings, well some of it, we never watch anything of the sort with the little one, I told her when she is twelve and can handle things she may watch it. It gets tiring hearing her ask if she is twelve yet!
Then I prepared to go out. I went for a slow walk in the sun and my arm felt curiously light and ...........empty really, for there was no little person hanging on.
As I strolled past the park I again felt strange, for there are two trees she loves, tall, reaching up into the robin's egg blue sky. Mr.Tree and Mrs. Tree further down and she always runs to them and hugs them(yes a real tree hugger)and tells them how much she loves them.
"Hello Mrs. Tree and Mr. Tree" I found myself whispering.
I shopped and then went to Starbuck's for a drink, a bite and to read and do some writing. I found I could not do much of any of it, I left much before I wanted to and headed back home.
And then I watched teli a bit, well video and then switched it off.
My day is to end at around seven and I noticed I was checking the time often and when at long last it came, seven oclock I whipped out utensils for cooking, started a load of wash, and went into high gear.
Later that night as I crawled into the bed, I found I was so exhausted from my 'off day' that I could barely think a thought.
This is my third time now and I am learning to just relax, actually not think about the time or worry. Just let my body relax.
I found time to dance, really work on my stretching, and write and sketch.
Perhaps, just perhaps, this day off thing might work for me, who knows. :)