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Sipping the Tea

The Worst Day to Ever Worsen and - Dating Advice, plz?

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by
a_little_wisp
, 04-16-2009 at 01:29 AM (1492 Views)
I had the weirdest sleep last night. I recall, around 2:30, flopping onto the mattress (WRONG MOVE) and cocooning myself thinking,

"Just gonna rest my bones for five minutes, and then I'm up and studying for my Music History te-

zZZzz"

I was conked. out. By some queer stroke of fortune (which was not to happen for the rest of the day), I woke up on my own at 7:30 and blearily turned on Schumann and Liszt.

And Dr. Pearson is the chipperest man to ever chipper at crack-thirty in the morning, so he's all, "GOOD MORNING HALEIGH. " And I'm thinking, "Well, I'm glad someone had their OJ and coffee this morning. "

Dunno how I did on the test.

Then I forgot about my Lab report that was due, so I take it with me when I go out to breakfast (because my apartment is sans la nourriture and I am STARVING), but then Alice, my lappy, runs out of battery power and I get home and realize something is wrong with my printer (like some important piece fell down into it?) and it doesn't work so I just skip class entirely because I had to work at 5:30 anyway and write my professor a letter begging for mercy upon my soul and GPA -

I don't know what she'll say, but at this point I'm so tired of this constant worrying that I'm just... BlAaaaAargh.

If she doesn't have mercy upon me, I deserve it anyway. BUT. I still hope.

So then I'm on facebook in my spare time about ten minutes before I have to leave for work because Bird and I were joking about Alcatraz and I had to argue my point about a comic book character to a dudefriend.

SOoOooo Mr. Evan gets on JUST before I'm about to leave. He ... well. According to random sources (when you're in a fraternity/sorority, nothing is kept safe- my roommate is in a sorority) , he started crushing on me about a year ago. I'm pretty sure I can pinpoint it:

I was in class, drawing Red Sonja in my sketchbook - she's reclining and holding a mug of some frothy beer and grinnin', and I was at that moment working on perfecting her breasts, which were causing me some grief.

So he comes over after class ends and, kid you not, at that moment. I'm drawing. A boob.

And he's all: "Wow, that's really good!"

And I'm like ".....Thanks!!"

And then he proceeds to introduce himself.

He ain't bad lookin' y'all, I just... I'm thinking:


What the h*ll would we talk about?

Me: "So uh... so you like comics?"
Him: "Nah, I like beer!"
Me: ".. yea, I like some beer too! ... Do you play video games?"
Him: "No, but I go on huntin' trips!"
Me: ".........That's cool. I like. Um. I like camping and hiking. "
Him: "I like YOU."
Me: *ScreeeeeaaaaAaaAaM*

Dating, by the way, is one of my biggest fears. I mean, this may sound shallow - but could I date a guy who's never read LOTR? What if he's offended by my nerd-some interests?

And I am seriously, highly independent. I value my friends and family soo much, and my free time goes to them. It was one of the biggest problems with my last boyfriend - twenty-five, handsome, gamed, had an apartment, but didn't seem to want to go ANYWHERE in life - next to my last boyfriend being, well, kinda clingy - and, he lived two hours away.


So Mr. Evan's all: "... I know that. Uhm. You're busy. A lot."

(Because we've been through this before.)

"But, do you want to hang out some time? Before you had back home for the summer?"

Me: "Um, well, I'll have to check my work schedule, and I won't get it until tomorrow..."

"Right, right, well. I mean - "

Me: (Oh no wait, he usually stops there! o_o)

" - I mean, I think you're really cute. And I've always wanted to take you out. I know you're busy, but maybe we could find some time after school lets out."

Me: ......................................*drums fingers over the keyboard. Starts to panic.* "Oh... well! I mean, yea, I'll definitely get back to you on the schedule business."

"Because I have an internship in Chicago and I'm leaving mid-May."

Me: ( ... T_T He has direction.) "Oh wow, congrats!"

"Yea. Well, I'll let you go! Hope you can find some time!"

Me: "Yeah! See ya!"




By that time I was late for work, and feeling awful, because this has got to be fourth time he's tried to hang out, and I've skillfully been dodging him - I don't mean to be MEAN, I just...

Yeah. So my car was being finicky as it has as of late and wouldn't start for a good five minutes and I'd forgotten my phone, so I didn't know what time it was.

I got to work and- I mean, naturally - every one was angry at me and I didn't even have a good excuse. But then they cut the floor right when it got busy, so everyone seemed to drill their frustration into me. I'm really surprised - especially after I dropped the bowl of relish on the table in front of the lady (nothing splattered, thank god) - that I was just going to go break down, but I've promised myself that I would never cry at work. It would have been stupid to cry.

But I went to Denny's afterwards, and my favorite waitress Dawn got me a hot chocolate and Randall - one of my friends who also frequents the diner at late hours - came over and listened to me gripe. It was very nice of him.

I am burnt out.

Woo, it's good to spew!

So, friends. Um. I think I'll give in and 'hang out' with him, but... what... any suggestions? I've never been on a legit date (I'm always friends with the guys first, usually). What do I DO? what do I SAY? What do I wear?

So scared.

Updated 04-16-2009 at 01:31 AM by a_little_wisp

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Comments

  1. *Classic*Charm*'s Avatar
    Oh Wisp. You sound so much like me in a number of ways. Which of course means that I have no useful advice to offer you whatsoever. Course, when a similar situation happened to me, a blatantly turned down date-like hangouts. Sorry!! Though this guy doesn't sound very clever, if you've avoided him four times and he still hasn't caught on...
  2. higley's Avatar
    Too funny, I fell asleep last night while "resting" before getting back up to study for my Sociology exam

    I think I wrote this elsewhere once, in regards to dating:

    "woah, ahoy cute guy, hey hey what's up with you. how bout them sports? a baseball game sounds great can you believe they traded that guy. you play saxaphone? that's awesome wow you're cute just let me sit over here and crush a little don't mind me. hot damn he's smiling at me, wait what the hell he's smiling at me just look away nothing to see here don't talk to me stop talking to me! i can't because i have to work i'm meeting friends for a movie i have to study i have homework, suddenly you're not so cute why are you still here GO AWAY GO AWAY"
  3. Dori's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by *Classic*Charm*
    Though this guy doesn't sound very clever, if you've avoided him four times and he still hasn't caught on...
    Cleverness really has nothing to do with it. It's determination, drive, persistence. He believes if he can get one date with you that he can hopefully get you to like him. Or he's desperate.

    And trust me, guys seldom ever take a hint.

    Would you ever want to be with a guy who gave up at every wrong turn?

    I digress.

    My advice: Do what you do. Say what you say. Wear what you wear.

    Not that I should be giving advice or anything. I'll tell you a little story about my encounters with women:

    Okay, so this happened four days ago, I think. I was (and still am) in Myrtle beach, staying at one of the condos. I decided to chillax in the hot tub; there were two, adjacent to one another, of course, and I opted for the unoccupied one (the other was occupied by two beautiful women---one overwhelmingly so). Once I put my leg in there one of them said to me:

    "Hey there's cake in there."
    "Wha...okay."

    I quickly got out and joined the two beauties. I didn't really say much, and they, for the most part, kept to themselves, barring the inevitable tidbits of conversation. They started:

    "Where are you from?"
    "Upstate New York."
    "Really? My boyfriend..."
    (I didn't bother listening to what else she had to say about him.)
    "Where in New York?" she continued.
    "Have you ever heard of Bath?"
    "What?"
    "Bath."
    "Spell it."
    "B-A-T-H"

    Moment of silence.

    "Do you have a name?"
    And upon the verge of wanting to say I didn't, and that I was a part of the witness protection program, I replied:
    "Yeah, Patrick."
    They muttered theirs, but over the gurgling hot tub I missed them. Oh well. No need to ask again; besides, rarely do I ever address someone by their name. It's one of my quirks.

    Anyway, the few minutes they remained saw nothing but their whispering to each other and my idle gazing.

    And so they left. I'm not sure you can fail any more than that.
    By Jove, they were beautiful.



    To sum up: just wing it.
  4. AimusSage's Avatar
    hehe, Dori! I think every guy has been in similar situations where they didn't do or say what they were supposed to. It's from our mistakes we learn and all that cliché stuff. Cake in a hot tub, now that's a nice conversation starter! How did it manage to get in there?

    Wisp, the best thing to say to a guy that wants to take you out but you're not interested in is No. Don't worry about hurting his feelings, if they're hurt, he's just a big baby. Like Dori said, most guys don't take hints, they may or may not notice you giving them, but they'll often ignore them anyway. Straight answers are the best way to go and saves you and the guy a lot of trouble and awkward situations down the road.
  5. a_little_wisp's Avatar
    Classic- It's good to know I'm not the only girl who feels like dating to date is unnecessary! As for his cleverness, well.. he's in advertising, and I kind of feel like to get the internships he does and the awards and stuff he has to have some sort of cleverness entwined with his creativity. Maybe not clever when it comes to girls though - but I'm not clever when it comes to guys. XD

    Higley- LOL That's exactly how it is sometimes! Perfect!!

    Dori: xD Good story! I don't think it was a failure, I think it was cute, and they probably thought the same ... Yea, but what about that cake? Huh.

    Aimus - ... You're probably right... I just... You know, he deserves a chance, and it might not be him - it's probably me who's being the weird one. I mean, I have no reason NOT to have ONE date with him. It is just one date, and if I'm going to tell him I'm not interested (in the kindest way I can) I think the best way would be ... to tell him face to face, rather than over facebook chat. He deserves better. So ... I guess, depending on my schedule... we'll see.
  6. 1n50mn14's Avatar
    ! Oh my God, this made me laugh out loud. I have NO advice for you, being a social retard, but keep on trucking... haha. I have a hard time accepting invitations to dates as well, but do what you feel. If you think you might get along, why not go for it? It can't hurt.
  7. Niamh's Avatar
    Hey Wisp!
    Ah! A date! Its been soooo long!
    That guy does seem awfully keen. Whats the harm in hanging out with him once? and dont be worrying about what to say and wear etc. just be yourself. that obviously why he likes you in the first place. And if at the end of the date you still think no, just let him know gently and even suggest maybe casual friends or something instead? And besides, you may be surprised and find out you DO have things in common.
    And at least it will be just the two of you. I've been on dates where its been me, my date and all his friends!
    (higley that is so funny and oh so true!)
  8. prendrelemick's Avatar
    Remember Wisp, asking for a date always turns us males into toungue tied idiots.

    I reckon your beau did Ok.
  9. kevinthediltz's Avatar
    Just be yourself. Wear what you would on any other day.
    No guy can argue against confidence.
    And no guy can resist a subtle smile and a brush away of the hair with your fingers....
    Good luck!
  10. Dori's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by AimusSage
    hehe, Dori! I think every guy has been in similar situations where they didn't do or say what they were supposed to. It's from our mistakes we learn and all that cliché stuff. Cake in a hot tub, now that's a nice conversation starter! How did it manage to get in there?
    There was a birthday party, or something of that nature. Lil' kids, of course.
    Oh, and I took a lot from that experience.

    Quote Originally Posted by a_little_wisp
    Dori: xD Good story! I don't think it was a failure, I think it was cute, and they probably thought the same ... Yea, but what about that cake? Huh.
    I doubt it...they seemed snobbish (but who am I to judge?). I kinda got that vibe when she condescendingly asked, "Do you have a name?" I dunno, maybe it was imagined snobbery...They seemed what the low-class highschooler (like myself) would call a "prep" (ie. only good for looking at ).
  11. Virgil's Avatar
    I would tell him you're not interested up front Wispy. Better for all. It will be a bigger let down if he falls for you after that date. Sort of like putting him put of his misery up front. Nicely written. Ah to be young again. But then, dating, no thanks.
  12. ~Sophia~'s Avatar
    Wispy... after the PM you know I'm the wrong person to give dating advise LOL. Well written story though! I enjoyed it!
  13. AimusSage's Avatar
    Dori: Snobbish people deserve to be made fun of! Don't ever let them get away with it.

    Wisp: You can ofcourse go on a date, but the likelihood it'll change anything is small, seeing he already approached you more than once and didn't give off the best impression. I agree with virgil on this one.