Sipping the Tea

I forgot that there was a reason why I used to game so much online:

The jokes.

As a lady gamer who surrounds myself with a variety of friends, I'll find myself making a game joke, or a little sound snippet from a Zelda game ("You found your keys! Yay! *open treasure chest sound*") and just get weird looks and the: "Oh, well, that's Haleigh for you!" statement.

However, I recently picked up Counterstrike again with every one else who used to play - I only played it briefly before, and then got scared away when I realized I had crushes on half the boys who played the game. (It was when I lived in Augusta and my brother's friends were like brothers to me. They still act like it, even now.) However, half of them are engaged now and I've grown up and moved on, so now I can get on the server and laugh and make nerdsome jokes with less shyness. Yeah. It's a good hobby, in small doses. I forgot how much I missed them - and hey! Quality brother/sister time!

And all the guys start getting apologetic every time they kill the nice girl with the username 'Wisp'. Gwahahaha.
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Anyway, the REAL stories of the night are WORK stories- and LITERATURE related:


The chair of the English Department came in tonight with his wife.

Backstory: Desperately in need of a paperclip, and finding his to be the only office door open in the hallway at that moment, I went into his office and asked to borrow a paperclip. I told him I wasn't crazy, just desperate. He chortled to himself, admitted he was crazy too, and gave me a paperclip.

I promised that I'd return one to him. He told me not to worry, but paperclips are valuable commodities when you're an English major, and I do try my best to keep my promises.

I wasn't his waitress tonight, but he was RIGHT by my other table, so I finally got the guts to introduce myself properly to him.

And I reminded him.

"I'm the girl that borrowed the paperclip that one time? I promised I'd return it. I still mean to keep that promise."

By this time, he and his wife were laughing.

He seemed flabbergasted. "Quite honestly, I had forgotten until you reminded me just now!"

I eventually grinned, bowed out, and said goodbye. Then Curtis (one of our managers), after I told him the whole story, told me that the professor is actually a very hard-to-please customer, and that he complains about everything. So, let me have a paperclip to give to him.

When the professor was getting ready to leave, I walked over to his table and slid the paperclip across to the table to him. It took them a moment to register the action, then suddenly his wife was laughing hysterically, and he even was chortling again. I told him to have a wonderful evening.

AND THAT is how you un-grouch a customer.

Story 2!

I was about to leave for the night when a couple sat down in my section. The woman asked if she could have the bread before the meal. In a rush, I blurted, "Do you want jelly and whatnots?"

To my relief, she laughs and says, "I love whatnots."

I apologized with: "... I have the worst vocabulary ever. Excuse me while I go burn of embarrassment in the back."

They laughed.

A couple of minutes later, I came back with her bread and jellies and, setting the plate down, announced proudly:

"Here's your bread and a medley of packaged preserves!"

She and her husband ROARED with laughter.

When they got their food, I came back over to check up on them and inquired:

"Are the flavors of your heavy rations dancing vicariously across your oral pallet?"

They may have been choking on their food, but they were definitely still laughing, and nodding fervently.

At the end of their meal, I came over, and the husband then asked:

"Would you happen to have a petit transportable container for edible goods?"

Needless to say, I was wheeezing.

I placed it in his hands some moments later:

"Here's the glossy diminutive victual receptacle you requested, sir."

We were clapping each other on the back while he left.

And they were VERY nice and also left me a nice compliment at the cash stand for the higher-ups.

And that's all, folks.