Silas Thorne's Journal

Did I somehow miss this in the Poetry Forum? As always I'm delighted by the seemingly effortless intricacy of your writing and the way you seem to get twice as many syllables into a line as are in fact there!

Oh get a title for this one Silas, this is excellent. The alliteration, the internal and end line rhymes, the shear lusciousness of the images. Wow, what an ending:

I'm happy though with each time's death,
sweet mandarin can't lemon in a breath.

Thank you both for your comments! There are a few Chinese literary references in the poem too.

This one actually provoked another poem, which speaks to me about my writing (I originally intended for the poem above to have the first line of this poem below but since it's a separate short poem , I've changed the title above to a simpler one. Anyway, here are those few short lines :

'Bleed of a white sheet heart
is the beauty that bears facing.
With each stab, it fits.'

Beautiful Silas! I like the second stanza best. So oddly familiar... (hehehehe) I don't get the last line though...

I agree, excellent as far as sound and rhyme, but with the last two lines, especially the last line, being very abstract or simply nonsensical---sacrificing meaning for rhyme---I come away not quite getting it.

Thanks lost one and jon. I agree, the last two lines are probably too obscure, so the poem is far from perfect.