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Red-Headed

Vistas

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by
Red-Headed
, 04-06-2009 at 07:12 AM (1056 Views)

The sun, shining now
indicative of a fine
Vernal Equinox

that seems to bring hope;
at least a semblance of hope
to a bleak wasteland

of a sad mind's eye
that wishes to close itself
& hide from vistas

of bleakly sterile
landscapes of moribund pain
& empty horror,

casts the rune of joy
so that my mind can open
up to the daybreak

with new horizons
that will stretch out before me.
Will I greet the dawn?
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Comments

  1. 1n50mn14's Avatar
    NICE! I love how it ends on a question. It adds an entire new dimension to the poem. Well done with the haiku btw.
  2. Virgil's Avatar
    Not bad Red. I like it too. It gains power as it goes on. I would suggest you find a better word than "indicative." Or get rid of altogether. Every object is indicative. Say it this way:
    The sun, shining
    at Vernal Equinox
  3. Red-Headed's Avatar
    Yes, but the sun is indicative of a fine equinox. Plus the syllable count is haiku-like.