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I for one had visions of hunting thru past posts to read it. One because I have great respect for you and my own issues with my mother gave me hopes of geting more perspective and maybe much needed empathy and forgiveness for past betrayals.

But I do also understand the personal need to share or not share our griefs and joys. I have no doubt that I would have been blessed by your writings but I would rather protect you in your privacy more. Love Rich

Writing should be first and foremost for yourself. Whether or not others read it is up to you. Thanks for thinking about us, though. Andave.

Thanks adya and mtpspur. I agree with you, adya about making my writing for me.


Rich, I think it would be impossible to find the poem just by going through my posts. I was trying to find something myself and the search only brought up the last 500 or so posts I made. It isn't about my mother, but something related. I don't know, maybe if I get braver I will post it again.

No pressure. I did think it was mother related and am always curious on the subject especially with Sunday approaching.

I have to confess, I was waiting with baited breath to read your poem and felt disappointed with the <EDIT> mark. But, it is your poem and it is your heart, and no one but you has the right to submit it to others for scrutiny.

As for your last question - obviously, I'm as clueless as you are.

My motive for writing - always to please myself first. But, there is this underlying desire to connect to another person like myself through it - to reach out to someone like me, who feels alone and isolated, and say "Yeah, I feel your pain, see? You are not alone; I feel it too - we both feel it toegether."
Anywho, I support your decision, kathy - to post or not to post your poem. Do what is right for you.
C

Ok...I will put this here for now. I know it isn't very good, but it helped me feel a little better to write it.

*edit* I had the poem up for 12 hours....time to put it away I think.

We lost what would have been our third of four children -- Ruth had been pregnant only a short time and I am still haunted. It was the only time I was not in the right frame of mind to have another one--too focused on money, emotional ability to take on another responsibility. To this day I believe God took the child (in justice and mercy) to teach me to appreciate his providences and gifts and that HE could meet our needs/wants. I am sure of this for one reason--the very same month in comicbook land in the Fantastic Four Sue and Reed lost their child--a first for comicbooks--usually children especially babies are off limits (unless being rescued from fires by Batman.) Your poem brought tears to me and I cry little thanks to the hardening of the heart I constantly struggle with. I am personally honored by your sharing a very private grief and I grieve for and with you for the lost blessing. Much respect and Love--Rich---P.S. Much wanted daughter Sandy came a year later--1985.

Thank you Rich.