Silas Thorne's Journal

there were secret paths...

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, 02-10-2009 at 05:41 PM (1203 Views)

there were secret paths known to us,
bird**** paths within bridges
where we could walk
straddling electrical cable:
Deathstar catwalks,
an empty vast droppingdown on both sides,
where the wind gets in
making the inside, outside.

Without keys, no adult could get in there,
but we were adventurers, magicians,
coming out behind our parents
waiting for us on the other bank,
who wondered where the hell we'd got to.

Updated 02-10-2009 at 05:45 PM by Silas Thorne

Categories: Poetry

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Comments

Silas Thorne - 02-10-2009 05:43 PM
****! ****e! Excrement! That's what I mean, but the filter wouldn't let it through.
Virgil - 02-10-2009 07:52 PM
You know I can feel the catwalk ledge. That's palpable. The poem though seems like just a fragment. I don't see it saying anything.
Silas Thorne - 02-10-2009 08:09 PM
That's for the comment, Virgil. Maybe there is more there. I'll see.

I think the poem does say something. It's a glimpse back to the parts of childhood that we can't return to.
Joreads - 02-11-2009 12:36 AM
Without keys, no adult could get in there

I like that line almost seems like it is something secret
kiz_paws - 02-11-2009 03:03 AM
Without keys, no adult could get in there,

I really liked that line too, Silas.

Though the poem does seem like a piece of something bigger, that is a good effect, too. Just like memories, one has a fleeting thought, a sensation of something that occurred a long time ago, and you are verbalizing this action (of the fleeting thought).... or somethin' like that!
TheFifthElement - 02-11-2009 04:36 AM
This is a lovely piece Silas, very evocative of childhood. I guess we all had those secret paths. I like the fragmentary nature of it, as though you've just evesdropped half way through someone else's conversation.