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Silas Thorne's Journal

storm cloud prince

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by
Silas Thorne
, 01-18-2009 at 02:29 AM (989 Views)
I’m walking past the Physics Loading Bay
at university
waiting for the sky to burst
with that muck-daubed candy-floss vista of grey
eye-locked with the sun.

You frown, prince of darkening cloud
big feet bouncing on a wall of sound
Hey! big guy in the middle
I can’t see your fine fired friend.

One flash and a rumble, tumble
out with that dog/cat shower…

Then you’ll shake off, zip up, and piss off
leaving small Irishmen to guard their gold.

I really should get a jacket.
Categories
Poetry

Comments

  1. LostPrincess13's Avatar
    I like this one...
  2. Riesa's Avatar
    cool. I love it. except don't know if the first couple of lines are neccesary. could it not start with 'waiting for the sky to burst'?

    Hey! big guy in the middle
    I can’t see your fine fired friend.
    great.

    to me it's a saucy piece, you sassing the storm.
  3. Silas Thorne's Avatar
    Thanks for the comments. I considered your advice, Riesa, but I think in this poem the simple literal lines:

    I’m walking past the Physics Loading Bay
    at university
    waiting for the sky to burst

    and:

    I really should get a jacket.

    frame the poem at the beginning and end.
  4. Riesa's Avatar
    ok. I suppose a storm needs a frame.
  5. Silas Thorne's Avatar
    It might as well, it has an eye, and can have a heart.