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Dad...

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by
kathycf
, 05-07-2007 at 11:24 PM (2013 Views)
A few weeks ago, my father was at the doctor's office and it was found that he had some malignant spots on his face. So, a week ago he had them removed. It wasn't surgery, the malignancies were removed under local anesthetic in the office. One of them was a bit deeper rooted then they expected, but they were able to cut it away.

It is terribly disconcerting because my father is 78. My mother died several years ago of cancer and ours is not a big family. When my father goes, that leaves my sister and myself, and we aren't close. It is a weird feeling to think I'll be on "my own", even though I have been on my own since the age of 19. Death is inevitable, so there isn't anything I can do except learn to cope...and sometimes that is easier said than done.

There really isn't anything that any of us can do, except express our grief and come to grips with it. Often death leaves us with so many other unresolved feelings regarding the loved one, in addition to loss and it gets complicated.
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  1. Countess's Avatar
    Carpe Diem. Seize the moment to tell your father how you feel about him and all that he has done for you. When he passes, you will find a measure of peace in knowing you got to say "I love you".
  2. mtpspur's Avatar
    Not sure what to say. I thank you for your comment on my blog. I'm sorry you lost your mother as I gathered you are close if I'm reading between the lines correctly. I'm glad your father is well for now. I'm hoping you have a relationship with him. I had none with my father and Mom is still here but we talk about nothing of value. I would take one day at a time however. Sufficient unto the day is the trials thereof. I mean this with respect. You can go crazy doing the what if future scenarios. I like the fact you refer to him as a loved one. I still have trouble writing the words. I have always had problems honoring your father and mother from the heart and not just lip service. All the best Kathy--be at peace.
  3. andave_ya's Avatar
    kathy ~ yes, parents are invaluable. Bake him a cake with "I Love You" on it in his favorite colors.
  4. kathycf's Avatar
    Oh, thank you. I am always so grateful for the warm and supportive comments I get here. This forum truly has wonderful members. I guess part of what makes it complicated for me is while I love my Dad, we have not always been on the best of terms. (that is a bit of an understatement on my part, but seems the best way to describe it for now.)
  5. kiz_paws's Avatar
    I was sorry to read about your dad, kathy. And I thought that though your past may have some baggage, your future could be one of venturing one day at a time, peacefully. Likely your father is feeling anxious, and maybe he has regrets for the lack of closeness... these are not easy things to vocalize, you know? I like your ability to address these issues, Kathy. It makes me think, too. Nonetheless, the words of encouragement written by mtpspur were well written, and I would like to add that I wish you and your family well.
  6. Captain Pike's Avatar
    I mean this nice: Maybe it's time to get to know your sister.

    (I'm down to when Dad too)
  7. Virgil's Avatar
    Just saw this now Kathy. I hope your father will be fine. I lost my father last fall, and losing a parent is very hard. Well, you must know since you have lost your mother. I'm usually a pretty confident person who feels that I can handle almost anything. But this is the part of life I have a hard time coping with.
  8. kathycf's Avatar
    Thanks again for the supportive comments. I am sorry I missed the last three...my mind is in a fog these days. My dad seems to be hanging in there, thanks Virgil.
    Quote Originally Posted by Captain Pike
    Maybe it's time to get to know your sister
    I do know her...that's the problem. She has resented and hated me my entire life and she isn't about to change. Don't get my wrong, I appreciate your comment and normally I would agree.