maraki16

I grew up with animals, I have been raised around them sense the day I was born, and so when you are around animals as a child you get kind of a crash corse in death. I have had everything from fish, cats, dogs, birds, rodents, reptiles. While that may not be the same thing as a human being, it does offer a learning experince in dealing with death.

And part of my spiritual views included reincarnation, so for me death is not an end all, it is a transistionary phase. And while I will always miss the physical pressence of a loved one, I know they have moved on into another life somewhere.

i know you are right. i also had animals that died but not for too long, and they werre small, like turtles, fish and squirrels. now i have a dog for the past 9 years or so. as a kid i did not was not really bothered by the death of the former, because they were small and did not have them for a long time. you know, i thought something like, a small qanimal has a small soul and therefore i was perhaps not so attached to them. but now that i have grew older and have a dog, i am areally concerned about her.
i also try to think that the beloved ones will be around me, that their soul and energy will continue to exist, but since we are made of matter, it is natural to be attached to matter and to regard physical presence and contact as something important.

We can only have faith that some day we will be reunited with our loved ones who have passed on. I know this will be a hard process Maraki but it is unavoidable. The future will work itself out. It always does. In the meantime, spend as many pleasant hours with your grandma as you can and hold her hand.

thank you.you no it is hard to do so though, because the truth is that she is not one of the most pleasant person, especially now. i never passed many hours with her, but i try to comfort her, although it is also painful for me to see her like this.

I can understand what you mean about the small animals, though even as a child it was my inclination to be more drawn to animals then to people, so I genreally do bond more with animals of any type then with human beings. But there is still a difference between the hamsters and mice which I know only have a 3 year life span and a dog or my cats.

Maraki what you have shared is very very normal for a person to feel. The loss of a loved one is traumatic. People experience it in many different ways. When my father died seven years ago I did not cry for almost two years until I broke down in my office very suddenly. When my mother died last August I cried the same day--but only once. (In fairness I was NOT close to my family for reasons that are not important for this time.) But I have lost others over the years and a sense of wonder that THEY have gone on and I remain?! I have learned to treasure up the memories I have of them and honor them in my heart. You can wonder and worry very much how you will be but sufficient unto today are the crosses we bear (I believe in a risen Christ) and you really won't know what or how you'll feel and behave until the time comes. With respect don't beat yourself up over it. It's good this is on your heart. Grieve well when the time comes and beware of a bitter spirit. Hope this helps Rich

Rich that was beautiful.

I certainly deal with the same thoughts you are maraki..it's really confusing, you don't know where you stand or how you're "supposed" to feel. There's no right or wrong way, every one deals with death differently. But I know that pull between feeling selfish, not wanting to let go of a loved one, but also knowing that they deserve to not suffer. I think it's great that you're at least writing about it. Like mtpspur says, treasure the times you have with your grandmother.. I'm sure she already knows, but also try to tell her you treasure the time you have with her too. I don't think there's any reason to "lose" someone if you've got great memories of them kept in a special place

maraki, I think that Rich and Logos have said it beautifully. I wish you well, it is a journey that is difficult indeed. Be strong and just do what you can. Thinking of you, K♥zzo

Thank you!

There has been three deaths in the past two years for me. My uncle and a close friend from school passed away in the same month of 2006, and another close friend passed away in july 2007. It is hard to grasp the concept that they are gone, but some good advice i can give you, is that you need the courage to look yourself in the eye and move on, you can't cry forever, and by no means let this death put you into a pit of self-loathing, apathy and bile. Celebrate the life she lived and remember the little habbits she had, those are the most important things.

The best of luck to you, and i hope everything goes well.