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maraki16

drawning

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6 Comments
by
maraki16
, 10-27-2008 at 12:59 PM (1295 Views)
i'm sitting by the waves
and listen to the sea
i feel the breeze on my face
that sweeps away my tears.
i feel surrendered to my fate
my destiny calls my name
i can hear it coming through the bottoms of the wild sea.
i get up, i walk towards the voice
the water is cold, the sea starts to roar
i feel i am absorbed, i feel the ground no more.
another voice tells me to stop
but there is time for that no more.
i feel drawned in the water
i watch a light coming through
and feel the cold no more.

Updated 10-29-2008 at 08:14 AM by maraki16

Categories
(nearly) poems

Comments

  1. Dark Muse's Avatar
    I really like this, I love the sea imagery
  2. mtpspur's Avatar
    Maybe because it's Halloween but this sent chills down the spine. Nice though.
  3. maraki16's Avatar
    thanks!it started as something romantic, but it ended up like this.i am sorry but, what do you mean 'because it is halloween'?
  4. mtpspur's Avatar
    Halloween is this week so I was ghostly phantom ladies whispering one into a watery grave.
  5. TheInsomniac's Avatar
    Beautiful poetry, im not for sure about this, but is it about giving in to fate, even though it is unnerving and terrying that you may not be able to go back. And in the end, what you were sacrificing your warmth and security for, finally comes out to lift you up. Very romantic, and could also be taken in a religious sense.
  6. maraki16's Avatar
    yeah, in this one i talk about the giving in to our fate, though in real life i do not really accept this thing, at least not completely. and in the end i did not try to make something that would need some explanation, ijust wanted to show the imagery of dying, of geeting drawned and seeing the light, the one coming from the tunnel we are said to face while passing away. i did not wait for anyone to see beyond that, but it is really nice to see that someone understood more than what is written. to see behind the actual text.