maraki16

pessimism

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, 10-22-2008 at 04:18 PM (1161 Views)

i feel like my heart's sinking to the bottom of my hopes
as i lose my faith to the peopole around me
the good and the bad
cause in the end they all turn out to be the same
pretty much the same
we are the same
all mean feelings dressed up in bright smiles
this is what we really are
we are the roses with the thorns
we are the angels with the dirty hands and the broken wings
though we were never given real wings

i don't want to listen to myself anymore
cause he reminds me of your words
of your promises that were gone
of my faith that turned out to be wrong

Updated 10-29-2008 at 08:15 AM by maraki16

Categories: (nearly) poems

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Comments

mtpspur - 10-22-2008 07:59 PM
Dark Muse will be the first to tell you two things. One she's my favorite poet here. Two I don't know a thing about poetry but I know what I like when I read it. I liked your poem. Note: Was reading your other entry about writign poetry and was at a loss as to what to advise--then i spotted this entry. So any opinion I really have about poetry is purely of an uneducated observor. But I liked it anyway.

Updated 10-22-2008 at 10:15 PM by mtpspur
Dark Muse - 10-22-2008 08:04 PM
Yes I can confrim both those statements LOL

As to your poem, it really is not bad, and it had some very good points. Perhaps there are a few things that could be polished up and tighted. But really, you are being too hard on yourself.

I can tell you this. Based upon that poem, you write poetry better then I can draw people.