Diary Of A Shadow

My grandparents came from Europe. My grandmother came from Marseilles France and my grandfather came from Munich Germany.

Most of my family's ancestory comes from France so I feel more closer to the French side of the family instead of my grandfather's German side.

To this day I love French culture and I speak French quite well. ( Although when I was younger alot of the language was lost to me growing up when English became my dominant language.)

Although my grandfather was German he spoke French which is how he met my grandmother.

My grandparents were the only people I respected in my family. I say were because they are no longer living.

The rest of my family I have completely disowned largely because they have disowned me.

I still keep in contact with my mother but I do not get along with her at all. My father walked out on us when I was younger and has never been seen ever since.

The reason I don't like my mother is because she is a ex-hippie from the 60's and due to all the drugs she was on half her mind is mentally destroyed. She lives totally on governmental assistance as she can't live independently on her own because of her old drug habits.

Although she doesn't do any of that stuff anymore the consequences of her early life have completely destroyed her living.


I was adopted at age 9 after being in many foster homes by a elderly Italian man who became my adopted father.

My adopted father is the only real family I acknowledge to this day. As far as I'm concerned after he passes I have no family.

Unfortunately my adopted father is in the hospital. He has been ill for four months and has become quite disabled. (He is 75.)

The doctors say that he is in such bad shape that he will never be as he was physically ever again and that most likely he will never be able to fully take care of himself independently.

Me and his other son are trying very hard to get him into a assisted living home when he gets out but the costs are so enormous.

Until then I visit him at the hospital for two hours everyday struggling to watch the person who raised me be so disabled.

( It's depressing to watch.)

So now you know my disorganized family life.