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In the nearly 28 years of matrimonial bliss and torment known as the marriage of the grumpy dinosaur and the long suffering wife I have noticed a tendency on her part to edit my wise and witty sayings and request and opinions to suit HER not me.

I would be blissfully nattering on any subject that might happen to pique my interest secure in my own mind that anything I say will be of vast and glorious interest to the beloved one.

After all who wouldn't want to know if the Skrull Queen masquerading as Spider Woman should be considered a true member of the Avengers or not? Was Sandman a true probationary member or official member of the team? Even more important is Catwoman or Talia Batman's true love? After all Talia had a son Damian by dear old Bats and DC hasn't written him out of continuity (yet).

But if I were to enquire a day or so later about these crucial events a shrug or a I don't think so would be my meager reward. Sigh.

Moving on to more important matters. If I was to imply that a man of my advanced years still has much marriage benefits possibilities to be utilizied whle the getting was still good I am accused of being too in love with a schedule and a calendar and what gentleman keeps track of this sort of thing?! Hmmm. In my version Goldielocks gets served up for morning breakfast by the respectable grizzlies whose home she has rudely invaded. Personal relationships and keeping the zing in marriage indeed!!

Logos impatiently waits to be dragged into this somehow or other and her lawyer is on speed dial and a retainer. Mtpspur erases three lines surely worth a settlement in court and moves on. The Countess is convinced he's finally lost it. Grace86 and Andave Ya are in fervent prayer for this wayfaring sinner and Meg just chuckles and Kizzo hugs Pepper and whispers "It will be all right--he's a Yankee after all."

The other night Gina had tried to bring some interesting drama into Sandy and Michael's life by inviting them to move into a house with her and Damian and the five would be a merry bunch. Happy happy joy joy. I treated the idea with the contempt it deserved and raucous laughter at her nerve. Fortunately Mike and Sandy are having nothing of this sly method of obtaining lease signers and free baby sitters (to say the least). But again I digressed to other topics so I can honestly say the Devil Child has again changed my life in in unexpected but interesting manner.

The statement made in less then 10 seconds that was promptly forgotten by me was a simple observation about Ruth and my transportation problems.

"You know it would be nice to own a car that was made in this century."

Short, pithy, mild trace of implying that someone in the family could have done better about cars and who might that be but oh welllll.

Jump one day ahead to yesterday when I'm in AAA dispatch wondering how soon I can read the new issue of Mighty Avengers (#19 for the record) after the tows slow down when a call comes in from the Mrs.

"Guess where I am?"

Grumpy dinosaur despises this game more then the You Want WHAT for Dinner game and the Drama Queen ticks off the diaster checklist rapidly in the ever dwindling brain cells--hospital, jail (unlikely), still at Sandy's where she had driven to get a haircut, the Bookery!!!!-even more unlikely), etc. Oh no--car broke down and the drama queen starts panting in expectation of glorious whining to bask in.

The answer throws me for a loop.

I'm at a car dealership in Xenia jusy looking and I bought a car. A 2004 Ford Escape. And suuurrre she can do the payments. Thus are Doubting Thomas born. I've seen her with payments. She says the paperwork is almost done. I'm delighted I'm left out of this and wonder how she'll handle the reposession if her school payment history is any indication of regular consistent honoring of a contract. I already realign my Avengers set completion date by the length of her contract and say goodby to certain DVD collections--shallow selfish soul. All the value gained from my recent inheritance is now about to put me right back where I was in May. Payday to payday with a bit of pressure to keep things interesting.

I told her she should put a sign on her forehead that says "Hi I'm Ruth Sell Me Something" which she actually busts out laughing over. Wants to know if I'm mad like that will win me Brownie points. I'm at the place in my life with her that certains sins of mine have made me accept that my wife really has asked for so little in life that the occassional boon should not be begrudged. Hopefully car repairs on this thing will keep the wolf from the door as a sort of compensation.

But really when Ruth wants something she goes after it but I keep reminding her like it or not she NEEDS me for the follow through. Which I rubbed in when 15 minutes later she calls back wanting my income information. So I am on the hook with her. Sigh. Wait we can milk this for years to come. There are reasons Divorce Courts are filled up with bankrupts and malcontents. God in His mercy has given me the Long Suffering One. I get to come to Xenia today and sign my life away--to the tune of six years. Well did I really want to visit Gatlinburg THAT badly I ask myself??

I do remember when my inheritance came whether I would buy a car or not for myself and I declared that we had too many bills that needed attention and a car was way away in the future.

For me.

Did I tell you the dealer already let her take it home? I arrive at 12:20 am and she opens it up and the first thing I see is that the interior light does not come on. I walk away quietly but firmly smirking with the self righteous silent laugh that she would really really like to wipe off my face as painfully as possible.

As of now its over and she's already at her night class making use of it. I keep thinking of night time classes in downtown Dayton home of car thieves and vandals. Ahhh more senseless worries the Drama Queen is much much content.