Life

Wow, that sounds like me. Missing the one you love terribly. That's what I cannot deal with. Being in love hurts me more than it makes me happy because of this. I tend to think that I will never be able to be in love happily. It always drives me totally nuts and I can't think of anything else than my lover. I wonder how you personally deal with it. That's hard to miss someone so much, and it seems nonsensical to be sad because we love and are loved. Anyway, thanks for showing me I'm not the only one.

*exhales* Thanks for showing me the same, Sweets.
I merely bide my time. I must wait three years for us to lay claim on each other, anyway. Mostly I have random outbursts of creativity that everyone else likes, but I don't. I talk to people to put my mind off if it. I comfort myself with that I shall only have to suffer for three years before a blissful, lasting relationship. I vent. I take everything a day at a time (my busy schedule helps here) knowing every day counts towards my three-year wait.

So you want to get married but you have three years to wait, that's it? May I ask you why it hurts you so much to be with him without being married? Would you feel a big difference if your love were recognized through marriage, would the bond feel deeper to you? Or maybe your worries are related to the law or something (because you're 15)? I'm not sure.

Sorry, entered my comment twice!

It makes me happy and sad to read about things people are going through that are similar to my own situation in some way. Happy to know others are like that, but sad because, well, it's often something hard. I just want the next few years to pass really fast because then I can be with my boyfriend properly, and marry him and spend every day with him. It drives me insane that I can't do that yet, and that I can't for another 2 years. But the wait will truly be worth it, and I hope it is for you too

I hope that you can harness your creative energy, Anza -- you have such a way with words.
Hang in there.
And, I LOVE Fanfare For The Common Man. A brilliant piece of work, I must say.

It is not marriage I seek. I just wish to call him mine. Society will not let us even hold hands in public...

Ok thanks. You cannot hold hands in public? So that means it's more about the law and your age. That's crazy. But anyway, who cares what society thinks? Society will always find somehing wrong with you anyway. You can always find some quiet place for you and your lover to be alone and love each other the way you want to. I don't think society has the power to prevent you from calling him yours. If you want him to be yours and he wants to be yours, then he is yours. Whether this "yours" is recognized by the others or not is of secondary importance (to me). It's all in your heart, not in what other people think. Cheer up, you are loved by someone you love and that's pretty wonderful.

I agree with Sweets. Good for you to have someone, and to be have-d by someone!

Um, basically, society is made up of a bunch of silly rules that don't reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallly have to be observed... as long as it's a society law and not a federal law, who gives a damn? You love! Rejoice that you even HAVE love, because plenty of people never feel the caliber of emotion that you evidently do. You love and are loved- sacrifices are a natural part of that. (I know it can be difficult, but if it is worth it, you'll see it through._