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Halls of the Dark Muse

A Letter To My Offspring

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7 Comments
by
Dark Muse
, 10-01-2008 at 01:44 AM (1242 Views)
A few posts back I talked of my poem that I entered in a contest on another forum, and the theme of the poem was suppose to be "Letter to My Offspring, and how the judges thought my pome was not very motherly or compassionate. So here is the poem I wrote for the compition.

A Letter To My Offspring

I have sacrificed to you
more then you can know,
with my blood
and my soul.

For those who never could understand
I stood tall and blazed a trail
to make room where you may walk
without fear as I have.

I have given my heart
to you, that you may never know
what suffering has been mine,

I wished only to carve a slice of freedom
out from those who otherwise would condemn you.
I have fought with every lasting beat of my heart
and every drawn breath
to make a sanctuary in this world for you.

You must not fear, take this gift of wisdom
I impart to you, there will be those whom do not understand,
whose minds are feeble and weak,
do not let them get the best of you.

I give you my strength
to stand your ground
that my blood had fell
so yours will have no need to.

Do not believe the lies they may tell of me
to poison your minds,
but know the truth,
it was all done out of my love for you,
to save you
and lift you up.

I do not promise the way will be easy
but I have given the best of myself
to give you a few stepping stones.

Take pride in yourselves
and what you are.
Let no one shame you
in their own ignorance.

You have power
and you are beautiful,
make me proud
and take this world
by storm and tempest
before you give an inch
before you kneel to another.

Always stand free
and independent.
Categories
My Poetry

Comments

  1. TheFifthElement's Avatar
    Well I think this is a stunning poem Dark Muse, truly beautiful. And I'm surprised it was not considered 'motherly', true it is not 'fluffy' and 'soft' but fierce and passionate; if anything, perhaps, a truer reflection of parental love than the cliche'd type which barely scratches the surface. I would have been proud to have written such a poem to my children, and I'm sure they'd be overwhelmed to receive it. Ferocious, honest and truthful. I love it; it is beautiful. A poem from a strong heart.
  2. Virgil's Avatar
    I agree with Fifth, this is motherly. I aparticulary found these lines the most interesting:
    I wished only to carve a slice of freedom
    out from those who otherwise would condemn you.
    To be honest i could almost hear my mother's voice in this.
  3. pussnboots's Avatar
    I liked it very much. To me the poem signifies how the mother tried to give her child a better life than she had and that thru adversity you can overcome all
  4. motherhubbard's Avatar
    I thought it was very motherly. Motherhood is not all (or even mostly) hugs and kisses. It really is a fight in so many ways. I liked it!
  5. applepie's Avatar
    Great job Muse. To call it unmotherly would be slightly narrow minded in my opinion. I agree with MH. This speaks much more of the reality than the ideal. I especialy like this part
    "Take pride in yourselves
    and what you are.
    Let no one shame you
    in their own ignorance."
    It is perhaps one of the most important lessons to give to your child, and it is also one of the hardest learned.
  6. kiz_paws's Avatar
    I thought the poem was powerful, full of good advice and wisdom to pass on to your children. I felt the pouring of yourself into your words and I was moved. Good job, Muse.
  7. Dark Muse's Avatar
    Wow, thank you all for your supportive comments, I am most apperciative.