Barmy Blue's Bland Blog

When'd they put a word limit on here? I'm going to hate that but I'm too tired to change it all now. This is part 3, please go back two entries to "the wanderer returns" thanks.


I had to take off my bag, my jacket (because of the zipper) my belt, my keys (which were still in my pocket) and the bangles because, even though they’re gold and should set off the metal detector the prat handing out the trays advised me to remove them just in case and I couldn’t very well argue, so I was rather pissed off by the whole thing. I didn’t set of the alarm but mum did, she thought it might have been her underwire bra (don’t see the point of them myself) and, to add insult to injury, after I’d put everything back on again we had another check when involved taking off our shoues and having them scanned (we didn’t have that last year, it reminded me of a story my cousin told a year or so ago about when he was coming back from Spain and they had to take their shoes off and one guy in front of then had terrible foot odor which filled the whole room) anyway, I was incredibly pissed off by this because I was wearing my boots, which meant I had to unzip them but also because I’d put in some rubbery in soles to make them more comfortable but they kept scrunching up in the middle of my feet, causing the onset of cramps, which, as I’m sure you know, are ****ing painful if you can’t stop them in their tracks. So I was incredibly pissed off until we got to the gate. I bought a Sudoku book, the second out of three, the first of which I bought last year at the same time and it remained my faithful companion throughout the year. Mum bought a Dean Koontz book that I remembered seeing somewhere at home (he didn’t have a new one out) but mum was sure she hadn’t read it. (Later, after skimming the first few pages she was sure she had read it.) Matters weren’t helped by the fact that I needed the toilet and I was wearing my sunglasses on a rather overcast day because my glasses were getting worryingly flimsy (I’d called the optician a few days before we left but there was nothing he could do in such a shorter time and I couldn’t wear my spare pair because they were too old for my eyes now so I just had to be careful with my glasses until we got back, because then it wouldn’t matter if they broke because we could go to my opticians). I was much happier when we got on the plane. I’ve never been afraid of flying. Apparently I was about 2 when I first went on a plane, it was a trip to Germany that neither I nor mum remembers but dad remembered it when we were filling in my passport form, because I had a little paper passport or something, like I said I don’t remember, but from what dad remembers I seemed to enjoy the trip, I questioned him as to the possibility of mushroom soup being served on that flight. I remember travelling somewhere they served a hot meal and I had mushroom soup and that was when I learnt that I don’t like mushrooms, but it was when I was very young and I remember nothing of that trip or what we were traveling on at the time, it might have been a boat. Of course, dad didn’t remember the meal on that flight to Germany and mum couldn’t even remember the trip, so I hit a dead end.
Anyway, we bought food and drink on the plane, mum had tea but she couldn’t drink it through the hole in the plastic lid so she kept taking it off but the steward asked her to put it back on for safety, so I had to keep spotting the stewards and stewardesses so she could take the lid off and put it back on when they passed. Then, as we came over land I played my favorite game of window spotting, I quite enjoy spotting swimming pools because they stand out and I kind of ended up playing it with a boy in front a little bit, one of us would point something out to the parent beside us and the other would try and see what they were referring too, with out actually communicating with each other, until I spotted a heart shaped swimming pool which was actually a blub but my view had been obscured by some trees.
It’s nice arriving at Jersey, it’s all so simple, unlike Gatwick. We got our cases while I kept humming the opening tune to the young ones (it was the only tune I could think of at the time that I knew all of the words too that was in english, as I muddle through the Japanese theme tunes and Rammstein lyrics) We were greeted with carnations and fake flower garlands (like last year, last year I got a nice blue one) this year I got a big ping garland with a red flower in it. And one pretty white carnation tipped with purple, mum got a pink and a red carnation, she claimed to be envious of my receiving a garland but I think she was kidding, I gave her my garland anyway (as you know I don’t like pink) and I put my carnation behind my ear. Our hotel was one the coach driver hadn’t been to before (they’d changed the coach routs) but he fount it easily enough. The hotel was a bit smaller than our usual hotels, the room was a cute little room with an old TV that probably didn’t work but they couldn’t be bothered to remove it , and big flat screen TV squashed up beside a wardrobe (mum and I had a wardrobe each ) and there was a little shelf fixed to the wall under the flat screen TV for making tea, it was actually hazardous because the steam went in front of the TV so mum moved it as far to the edge as possible when making tea, and the bathroom was a cute little thing with a shower instead of a bath and a shower and it didn’t have a heated towel rack, those things are annoying because they’re always right next to the toilet and you always catch yourself on them.
For dinner we had a different menu that what we were used to. The Saturday menu had grilled mackerel as a starter. Normally I don’t like fish with scales on because I remember it was a lovely shiny fish once and I like fish (you can forget that if you just have the meat) but I like mackerel so I had it anyway. It was great. Only trouble was I had to bone it, I’ve never had to bone a fish before so I had to copy mum and we still ended up picking fish bones out of our teeth, despite that the fish was great, it came with a sauce we couldn’t quite name and a little salad. Then we each had the burger with cheese. Little did we know it’s come with chips and salad and these things were huge. Neither of us could finish them. Mum was out but I had a small space saved for dessert and one thing had caught my eye, chocolate fondant, I’d never had it before but I saw it in a cartoon once and I was intrigued (in the cartoon it looked like a kind of chocolate cake with a liquid chocolate center, server with cream, however, it may have been mistranslated) what I was server was a hot glass with a mint leaf, a quarter of a strawberry on the top, dusted with icing sugar and the contents of the glass were a kind of hot, sickly, chocolate syrup with little dots of custard on top. I had to struggle to finish it. I couldn’t not, seeing as it’s taken so long to reach our table, implying it had taken some time to make and seeing as I was the only one to order it. I finished it. I must say, I rarely find something too sickly for me but chocolate fondant is not on the list (though I have to confess, given the chance I’d probably eat one again, under the right circumstances) We were bloated after that. The last note I have for Saturday is that I got to sleep at gone 12am and slept well because of my earplugs.

Well, that’s it for Saturday. It’d late and this is far too long as it is, so I’ll have to give you the rest of the week tomorrow.
Sorry about that.
Oh, and thanks for your good wishes, I did have a good time, though things were a bit different to usual, as you shall find out tomorrow. Hope I don’t forget

Bluebiird out.