The Nation of the Glorious Turnip

Just a few more days and His Royal Highness the Benevolent and Just King Aimus the first, ruler of the Infinite Universe, Mars, and the nation of the Glorious Turnip will head for Canada to perform experiments on the populace. It is believed by many Martians that Canadians are the original Penguins, and since penguins are considered to be pure evil, heading for Canada is potentially dangerous, but it is expected that the king will have a clever disguise that will prevent the locals from detecting his presence.

The king of Mars does not belief that Canadians are the original penguins, but rather a subspecies of the species known as Homo Sapiens. He has therefore taken it upon himself to disprove this misconception of the Martian Hive Mind Collective Control Centre Operator or MHMCCCO.

It is estimated that these experiments will take up to four months, but that they will provide conclusive results that can be used to manipulate the MHMCCCO into liking the Canadians better and rather focus their attention on the actual penguins of the planet Earth as they are believed to have a secret lair filled with dead hedgehogs which they use to produce deadly weapons of minimal destruction. It is likely that this lair is also in Canada, as it will obviously be the centre of the infinite universe for the coming four months, and everyone knows that the centre of the universe is where things sometimes happen a lot.

Contact status with the king during his stay is expected to be intermittent to the point of non-existence. This is done to ensure the quality of the experiments and to minimize external influence that might compromise the validity of the data that is collected. It is also possible that there simply is no time for proper communication with the outside world, since Canada is known to suffer from extensive temporal black outs.

That is all for now, the king will resume normal activities in 10 seconds.