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Well I thought I would be near Cleveland by now as I type this but it's a very funny world we live in.

Having patted myself on the back for having enough and more for two days of a rental car at 4:55 pm I arrive to take possession. I wanted a small car but they are giving me a Sebring instead--color blue.

The credit card Ruth gave me even had my name on it. Ah secrets. Just as well I didn't know she had it--would have taken advantage--that will come later this evening.

The fellow in front of me is going to Canada and he is given a card to cover his insurance there and I hear him describe an unpleasant encounter with the border guards re lack of same the last trip.

Then it's my turn. I had gone to the Bookery earlier to check in with Tim and the News Outlet to confirm arrival of Judge Dredd: The Complete Files Volume 8 that Diamond distributors had missed supplying the Bookery with. Will pick up Thursday.

The hour before I get set to leave I see a nice note from Logos and other well wishing Litnetters. Make a mental note to start catching up with the blogs and go back to making Ruth antsy.

Daughter Sandy had NOT called me yesterday and this lapse would erupt into a volcanic display of pique on my part if I didn't address it. She was aware of my mother's passing and had been with me on one trip years ago to see her. I tell her I am hurt and won't pretend otherwise and that her shyness will eventually cause a rift if it keeps up. It bothers me no end that Brandy (for instance) knows more about me then my own daughter and WANTS to know. I ask Sandy to just try harder next time please or Andave Ya would be inheriting a collection of Felix the Cat comics inscribed "The former property of Sandra Mtpspur---".

Anyhow the clerk at Budget Car Rental says there isn't $200 on your card.

'Yes but isn't the rental fee $103 with tax etc.??"

"Yes but we need a security of $200. Didn't they tell you??"

Obviously not or I would have done some adjusting but the phone connection was bad and I r-a-r-e-l-y take it out on clerks. Even though I knew it was he I had spoken with. He had even remembered me from last month.

I stare considering whether a meltdown would get me what I want. Generally works for AAA members. But I have a need to be civilized about all this. My not having a good balance on my card was totally my fault even if it is my business what I use it for it wasn't for anything I HAD to have. The fault was mine.

He wants to know if I have a debt card or anything else. He closes in 20 minutes and Ruth will be at work and it must be confessed while very certain I could make the trip into New York which would have been around 3 am when I'm usually awake anyway I was less certain of my physical endurance for the quick turn-around.

My previous use of their services was earning me no points and as I type this I am mentally typing a letter to Budget Rental HQ sharing a personal story of a real tragedy and the irony of having the amount bargained for covered plus $337 cash on me (thanks to Dan).

I simply say "We're done."

And walk away. Never to return there again. Back in 2001 when my father died was when I discovered rental car companies WILL NOT accept cash in advance. I had $500 then on me. I am willing to be burned twice but not a third.

I return most of Dan's money back to his account. I'm completely home and unpacked by 5:45 pm. At around 8 pm I decide to visit Best Buy. The credit card is used to buy all three seasons of I-Spy for about $44 and the cash I had The Fugitive Season 2, Vol 1.

I visit Ruth at work and claim I am now entitled to Welcome Home Marriage Benefits later tonight thank you very much.

I called my sisiter and we talk for about a half hour. It is regrettable but my conscience is clean. And yes Virgil I do feel and believe I am freed from much bitterness. My mother and father literally worshipped each other and their tragedy is they could make no room for others--not even their children. What joy they lost as a result. What hope I have always in seeking joy with whoever I can find it with and shut none out.

I look forward to Judgement Day with renewed interest when all tears and all secrets are rendered moot. God is still good and always shall be.