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I Don't get It

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by
pussnboots
, 08-12-2008 at 08:37 AM (1486 Views)
Do you know anyone, whether it be a friend or family member that has an illness but refuses to take care of themselves? Does it make you angry ?
Well, I have an aunt that is diabetic, has emphysema and suffers from sleep apnea. I should mention that she is also a heavy smoker.
She is on insulin and oral medication for her diabetes and takes blood pressure medication. She doesn't check herself regularly nor does she take her medication all the time. I don't understand her!!! Oh, I forgot to mention that she also has arthritis. She's got like 4 different doctors and I know for a fact that she doesn't tell her doctors everything. Last week when she went to her endocrinologist he was about to put her in the hospital because her blood glucose level was 400 !!!! She said no way. I wouldn't have given her a choice. She also had 2 chest xrays within the last 3 months. The first one showed a small spec on her lung but the technician said it might be a flaw in the film. She had another done last week and the spec has gotten bigger. Flaw in the film ?, I don't think so. You would think at that point she would stop smoking, but oh no, she still has about 3 cartons of cigarettes to smoke.
I've tried telling her she has to stop but she just doesn't want to. Her cough is horrible and her breathing is the worst. She can't walk long distances without getting out of breath and she doesn't get out much. She lies to the doctor and tells him she gets out of the house at least 5 days a week and gets her exercise by going to the supermarket and walking up and down every aisle. Walking at a snails pace is not enough. She lives close by so I know when she goes out or not.
She's a good talker though. She'll tell me that she has to move around more or that she is going to start exercising but she never follows thru. She has a daughter that knows her situation very well but she's another one that is not healthy and does nothing about it.
I sometimes talk about my diabetes and she used to tell me but not anymore that I am obsessed about it. I don't see it that way. Yes, I can get excited when I find a new food that I can eat, especially snacks!!, but she eats anything without regard to her situation.
Do I just stand by and let her kill herself little by little each day or do I say something ? I just don't understand how someone can let themselves go and not do much to help the situation. Am I naive ?
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Comments

  1. Niamh's Avatar
    I'm terrible at remembering when to take my medication. Very rarely do i remember to take three a day, most of the time i only take two. But you Aunt really needs to start to take care of herself. My dad is like that. He remembers to take his tablets but just doesnt take care of himself, doesnt tell when he isnt feeling the best and holds back a LOT from the doctor. He almost killed himself over a year ago because of this. He hadnt been too good and my mam made him go to the doctor, and of course my dad just brushed it off as his ulcer, doesnt explain anything to the doctor, and ends up in hospital lest than a week later with a gall blather so inflamed that it got infected, and was pumping poison through my dads system. The problem is that when people are stubborn like this, it is very hard to sway them.
  2. SleepyWitch's Avatar
    I have a friend who's got cancer (not lung cancer, though) and who is a heavy smoker. she's trying to quit but it's not working too well. I don't badger her about it though, because I don't want to get on her nerves in this situation and if smoking makes her happy, so be it. I quit smoking myself the day she was diagnosed, but now I'm smoking again.
    the problem with quitting is that you really need to want it yourself. If others, especially non-smokers keep nagging you to quit, it only makes you smoke even more out of stubbornness and defiance
  3. Sweets America's Avatar
    I believe that it is sometimes very difficult to understand what is in other humans' minds, and how they see life. I believe also that one has the right to make what they wish to make of their life, even if that means ending it, slowly or not. This is very hard to understand or to accept for someone who loves the person in question, and the revolted feelings that it creates are really understandable as they come from the heart. Of course in your case it might be even more difficult to accept what your aunt does because you are also someone with health troubles, and you have your own different response to it. It's difficult to find a middle way between accepting a person's decisions and wanting the person to do what we think would be best for them, and vicariously, for us. I know I would certainly have trouble to deal with what you're dealing with. But in the end, I always try to remember that they are the only ones who can decide about their own life and that I should not blame them, but rather show my love otherwise. Hugs to you.
  4. motherhubbard's Avatar
    That's a rough situation. I think we probably all know someone like that. It's frustrating. I don’t know what else you can do. I have someone, several actually, that are like this. They might take a pill that sounds like a magic bullet, but won’t do more than that and may not even take their meds regularly. Then when it doesn’t work after a week or two it’s over. It’s a shame. It’s hard for me to distance myself sometimes. I say why not have a salad or lets take the stairs, but it’s like I’m asking them to run through the street in their underwear. Personally, I’m so afraid of different ailments that I try to take every precaution. It’s work, but it makes me feel better. I’m up to three miles a day on the treadmill! (excuse me while I pat myself on the back!). I hope that your loved one sees the light! I’m sure you’ll be there to support them if they do.
  5. Virgil's Avatar
    Some people are incorrigible. I remember my father refused to stop smoking, until his last couple of years after his open heart surgery. Smoking destroyed his life. He told me he had started before ten years old. Very Italian. Italian men love to smoke. It easily took ten years off his life.
  6. sprinks's Avatar
    That sucks! I hope I'm not ever like that. I'm stubborn these days with not taking my medication, but thats because I can manage without it. Hope all is going well for the both of you
  7. motherhubbard's Avatar
    sprinks brings up a good point. There are a lot of people who love to take medication. I think that taking unnecessary meds is just as detrimental. I wish that CoQ10 could fix everything
  8. Virgil's Avatar
    Mom-H, the problem with that is that one doesn't know what is not necessary. If a doctor tells you you should take something, on what basis do you make a decision to disregard him? Unless another doctor tells you, I think it's prudent to trust your doctor. If you don't like or trust him, then one should find another. But no individual that is not a doctor has the knowledge to make such judgements. You might tell the docotor that you really hate to take medicine and ask if this is really necessary. Perhaps he might change his mind.