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Okay, so, Debate camp started last week. I have so much work. And I haven't finished my school reading. I have my LD binder of doom which is literally 1000 pages worth of debate files and I'm still halfway through In Cold Blood. I am having such a hard time finishing this stupid thing. It's getting annoying. AP English blows. Whatever. I'll survive. If I can survive Mrs. Harrison, I can survive any English teacher.

Anyways, I just finished 3 blocks for debate the other day and I have cases to write soon. EEEEK. Work, work, work. I have to find judges to judge too. Arg. Anyways. I found something, whilst cleaning my disaster of a room.

At DP we have a class called Teen Leadership. This visitor dude told us this story about a child who was abused and hurt mentally and physically by his parents. It inspired me to write this poem:

What If I Could Fly?

You stand there, expecting me to do something,
You expect something amazing,


But I can't give you that,
I try to explain, but you won't listen,


You want me to change,
You don't care how, just that I do.

So,


What if I could change the stars?
Would I please you then?


What if I could walk on water?
Would you approve of that?


What If I Could Fly?
Would I be the sparkle in your eyes?


~


You continue to say I'm not good,
You ask me why I can't do anything right,


And I cannot respond,
For I fear my own answer,

You always ask too much of me,
You always expect more than I can give.


So,


What if I could move the moon?
Would I please you then?


What if I could breathe under water?
Would you approve of that?


What if I Could Fly?
Would I be the sparkle in your eye?


~


You say I should act like an adult,
You want me to mature too quickly,


I want your praises,
So I try hard not to fail you,


You still aren't pleased,
You think I'm useless.


So,


What if I could freeze the sun?
Would I please you then?


What if I could swim the ocean?
Would you approve of that?


What If I Could Fly?
Would I finally be the sparkle in your eyes?


Anyways, I wrote that a while back. I also sent it into the scholastic competition and only made it to second round. Oh well, anyways. I just thought I would share that with you guys.

Oooh. I've officially been awake for 24 hours! Last night, I hit a writing streak and for about 10 hours I haven't put my notepad down. My fingers ache from writing but since about 1 a.m., I've been writing. I stopped about thirty minutes ago so that I could clean my room so I wouldn't get yelled at by mi faja. And I needed a break because my room is a disaster and though I got a lot accomplished in 30 minutes, I have more to do. I'm a perfectionist at everything but cleaning. It's funny and kind of ironic. Anyways, I woke up at noon yesterday and it's roughly around noon now so, 24 hours and I still have more to go because if I fall asleep now, I won't sleep tonight and if I don't sleep tonight my dad will freak out.

So, I'm going back to cleaning and then back to my writings.

Oh yeah! WooHoo for me! I just lost 5 pounds. I'm so proud of myself. Oh god, speaking of loosing weight. I haven't eaten since like...5 am this morning. I'm getting hungry. Ugh, hunger and sleep are needed but I can only give into one. The kitchen calls me! Peace out fools!!!!!!

Love,
KB

P.S. Guitar Lessons tomorrow!!!!! He is offically my dream guy. I have found out that he loves coffee as much as I do. I think I'm going to cry....hot guy+guitar=taken....da*n. I'm going to have to keep telling myself htat all the time now.