Life

Well, Saturday I'm heading out to Ohio for Nationals; today I'm going to Grandma's and my best friend Raphi's play; tomorrow it's off to my latin-friend's house (Kara) and then Saturday!!
Things have been crazy hectic. It's been packing, cleaning, studying, and mayhem all week, but I'm finally packed, the house is clean, I'm studied out, and the mayhem is at a calm-- if only for an hour or two.
I'll be back on August the 3rd. My cousin's baby is due August the 2nd, and it's looking like the baby girl will come early. It sucks that I'll be out of town, but I have Sunny under strict instruction to notify me as soon as her water breaks.
I am in love. With a counselor from camp. The issue is that he's older than me, but in three years, 18 and 23 won't sound so bad...
And I hurt one of my friends, James. He is the only thing that kept me sane for the longest time. I loved him. He loved me. I've let him down in the process of being "taken." (okay... understatement.)
I don't understand why every time I am with somebody, I end up dissappointing people. And James was the kind of person I would wish to hurt the least. He saved me in a way, let me trust men again-- after the whole John experience, that was difficult.
I will apologize for hurting him-- for dissappointing him-- but I will never apologize for being in love.
I am off, my freinds-- I may have internet at Kara's so I can perhaps check later... if not, I adore you all and will miss you in Ohio with no computer. <3