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Made it through the Darkness

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4 Comments
by
Shurtugal
, 07-12-2008 at 12:29 PM (1058 Views)
First off, i had my hair cut! like up to my chin! i'm not sure if i like it. It's to, um, childish i guess. i wish it were layered or something less neat. i don't know, i guess it's okay, just not what i was expecting. i'll just have to let it grow out.

any way... what i came to blog about is.
I've made it out of the darkness.
which sounds like um... emo. but, if you haven't noticed, alot of my blogs were darker, about the termoil in me. those feelings were real, but they were glorified in darkness. i realized that i was more then agnoliging that i can depressed, i was forcing myself to be that. and when at first i realized tha, i became even more depressed. i fell into a mind fram that everything was bad. but better then realizing what i was doing, i know why i was doing it. i was tired of my easly destracted,way to clutzy mind and body. i wanted to prove to people, exspecially someone i really wanted to hang out with, that i could be just as serious. well i went along the wrong way. sure, i still get depressed, but for now on i'll try not to live in it. the other reason why i lived in it was because i wanted to be comforted. i blogged about the time when Joe had seen my crying and wanted to see what was wrong. i felt so loved and comforted, that i wanted it to stay. so for some stupid reason i thought if i was always like in a distant kind of attitude people would come and see what's wrong with me. very stupid. who in the world would want to hang out with someone who is always in another world. so, my salution, be me! not the over crazy me, not a over depressed me, just me. if i'm upset, okay work through it. if i'm depress talk with someone. if i want to be comforted, just don't get depressed.
I've made it through the darkness.
-Argetlam
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Comments

  1. motherhubbard's Avatar
    well, I think a congratulations is in order! I'm glad to hear that you have decided to be yourself and happy about it.
  2. sprinks's Avatar
    Yay . ((HUGS)). That is really good! I get what you mean about being upset so people pay attention. I used to do that lots, and then when it didn't work I'd get angry. And THEN people paid attention . I'm not much fun when I'm angry. But anyhow, this is about you and your realisation!! Yay! At least your first reaction to having short hair and not being sure about it was "I'll just get hair extentions!" Many of my friends do that and it never works out! . But anyhow, I'm sure it looks okay. Maybe you can get it to look... like... cute, instead of childish. I look forward to getting to know YOU better now that you've decided to be yourself, and not some other version of yourself
  3. Shurtugal's Avatar
    thanks motherhubbard. sprinks, i like how you said that ha, ha. "To be yourself, not someother versin of yourself."
  4. kiz_paws's Avatar
    Yay, I am happy that you are feeling better, Shurtzie. I always felt that if we do not love ourselves, than how can we love others? (which may sound egotistical, don't mean it that way, though). I guess that if we are comfortable with who we are, than we can be that person all the time. Instead of putting on a different persona everytime we change places/people we visit, you know? Cheers to you and hope that your summer is going grrrrrreat!