Halls of the Dark Muse

For the most part I agree with you Dark Muse. I can have an understanding ear once, but beyond that it's really not my problem. There are life and death issues, and frankly the pitfalls of love relationships don't amount to a hill of beans as the saying goes from a famous movie. I love theat phrase, suck it up. Of course this is coming from an old geezer as SLeepy Witch has dubbed me.

You speak for the strong and the direct approach is often useful in settling one down. You and I would get along well as I most definitely understand doggyness after years of working with ladies. B-u-t I would hesitate only a second before refusing to turn you loose on someone with a poor sense of personal worth and esteem issues. You would win the war but it would be a Pyrrhic victory at best. Relax give yourself a few years with this attitude and you won't have to worry about people sharing burdens with you. I respect YOU enough to give it to you straight as your blogs implies. But I feel a sad about it. So young to start hardening the heart. And you still are my favorite poet here. We'll either still be friends or not. The Rubicon awaits and I live in hope of you.

I had posted a comment but have rethought it. I think I was too harsh towards you. While I admire your strength and no-nonsense approach I feared for the hardening of your heart and my Phariseeical chip on my shoulder started growing. Some people can take the blunt approach, softer spirits need a bit of empathy and a sense someone cares. Guard your heart from hardening and you'll be fine.

You sound cold-hearted to me, and even mean. Not everyone is able to deal with things like you do.

You nead not fear being harsh towrd me. I come to expect it.

No, they do not have to deal with things the way I do, I just do not care to hear them whine to me about it. Getting dumped isn't going to ruin anyones life, unless they decide to let themselves take an attitude of victimhood.

Totally agree, stuff happens. The vast majority of relationships people have are going to end at some point or another. Crying about it hasnt & will not stop it, the sun will still come up tomorrow and the world will carry on as always.

sometimes it hurts like hell to get dumped though. Especially if it was the most you ever loved someone so I can understand how people would be talking about it. that's part of healing - people have to go through it and they're going to be like that. especially if it's the first significant relationship - maybe someone has not dealt with something like that before and doesn't know how to deal with it and not be a drain on other people. In some situations, the tough love approach might be appropriate - as long you're not MEAN about it. For instance, I had a friend and she was upset because her boyfriend of two years cheated on her. Now, when she started dating him, she asked my opinion of him over and over. She was kind of concerned about him - there were some red flags - he liked to party, and had a skateboard as opposed to a car, didn't think much of studying or school or working. He wasn't even that good looking if you want to know the truth. She looked at him as a project or something - I really don't know. When she asked my opinion of him, I told I saw him as a short term good time. Two years went by and he had a one night stand or two on the side there and she was devastated. So, I was talking to her and I said he was low class and beneath her - I told her the idea was to move up the socio economic ladder and not down it and that she probably would have ended up supporting him while he sat on the couch drunk all day. When none of these things seemed to comfort her, I just asked kind of sharply, "Well, what did you expect? That's what men like him do." I could tell by her expression that it stung a little, but it was slight nudge toward getting over it and getting on with it and realizing that he wasn't worth her tears. Now, someone might be mourning the end of a good relationship with a good person - so it's always good to at least listen. Sorry for that long response. Geez I ramble.

Well, I can see how Dark Muse appears cold on this. But I guess it depends on the situation. If someone is just carrying on and on, you know one has one's own problems to think about and the break up of relationships happens frequently. One of course must be tactful and understanding at the moment. Like I said I have an understanding ear once on this, but beyond that I've got more serious problems to think about. I still like the way Dark Muse said, "suck it up."

Virgil is very right on this. It isn't necessary to coddle people when they have been dealt an emotional blow, but I do believe that one should always be mindful of the other's feelings as well. There is a difference between telling someone the truth, no matter how harsh, and telling someone a hard truth in a way that is cruel. The truth is always the best course, but it should always be handled in a compassionate manner.