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applepie

And then I wept

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by
applepie
, 07-02-2008 at 11:13 PM (26252 Views)
Things here have been going well, but my smaller dog has been having a lot of trouble adjusting to me having to work. I'm afraid that he has been terribly unhappy, and I can't bear to keep him like this any longer. We've had this issue in the past, but I've finally summoned the strength of will to do what is best for my beloved little pet no matter how it is paining me to do so. I've decided to search for a new home where he can be more content. Ash needs someone who can devote so much more time to spending time with him. He also needs to be somewhere that is not the home of two rought and tumble little children. I think there are some lingering joint/health/mental issues from abuse sustained before he entered my family, and I can't stand to see him so unhappy. So, though it has me in tears multiple times in a day, I'm devoting myself to finding him a place where he will be happy and healthy.

What brought about this conviction to find him somewhere else... Well to make a longer story much shorter, when I was a child we had a dog that was much like Ash. He had really terrible separation anxiety, but he didn't have the skittishness or health issues. I remember him as one of the best dogs, but I also remember watching him waste away and begin to act out as he grew older. He started to be destructive when we started school, and he just got worse. He injured himself many time trying to tear his way out of his crate. Eventually he lost weight, and he became more unhealthy. He was but a shadow of the dog I remembered when his life finally ended. I can't watch the same thing happen to Ash when I know that he will do well in another kind of household. He will thrive somewhere that he can be babied, cuddled, and have vast amounts of attention that I'm not able to provide.

It feels as if I'm giving away one of my children. He's been part of my faimily for over three years now, and I never imagined that I would have to find him somewhere else to go. It never occured to me that he would have the type of anxiety he is experiencing when I am not in the house. I can't keep him, but I also can't stand the idea of giving him to someone who can provide what it is that he NEEDS. I know that is more important than my own wants, but it is still breaking my heart. I'm not sure what is harder to contemplate, that I will find him a home and never see him again or is it that I may fail in my attempt to do the right thing by him and watch him slowly waste and become ill. He's not the stongest to begin with, and I can already see the changes. He's lost weight, and much of his time is spent on my floor curled into a ball.

That's my only update from here. I hope things are going better for everyone else at the moment.

A saddened,
Meg
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Comments

  1. mtpspur's Avatar
    There are no words. I well remember your pictures of Ash. I tjust Onyx a hug to make sure He knows he's cared for. Sometimes he won't come to me when he's called but just looks at me. And yes I find that annoying. Hoping he'll get better. I just don't know.
  2. pussnboots's Avatar
    I am sure this was a very tough decision for you to make. I can understand the attachment one has with their pet having one of my own.
    I don't know what else to say except that in the long run you are doing whats best for your poochie and I am sure he will appreciate you for that. You will be giving him a new life. Not sure if it helps thinking about it that way.
  3. Virgil's Avatar
    Meg have you asked your vet about it? Perhaps an anxiety drug will relax him until he finally gets used to it. It might be worth a try. Also I wonder if some morning excercise might help. Always good to burn that energy off. Both dogs we had were raised as puppies not having someone home during the day. They never did seem to have a problem.
  4. applepie's Avatar
    I'm afraid that his anxiety is stemming from fear, and that is a much harder thing to fix. He is terrified to be in the house without a person there. Our other dog is little or no consolation. Any medication that I could put him on would have to be on a forever basis instead of short term. I've also had to start worrying that he may bite one of the kids if they startle him. He tried for the baby a few times when she has accidently fallen on him or come up on him while he was unaware, but I'm not sure if it was to truly bite or just nip. He's not broken skin, but I'll not wait for him to do so and have to put him to sleep. The last time it was Keeghan that pinned him to the ground to stop him from nipping at her. He needs to go to a household with older kids that can understand he is fragile, or even somewhere with no children. He would be a good dog for someone who has retired and needs a companion. He needs someone that can spend the vast majority of their day with him and give him tons of love and affection. If I can't find that good home, though, I'll keep him and manage him the best that we can. I'll not send him to any kind of shelter, so it is finding him a home myself or keeping him. I'll not have him be another one of those dogs at the humane society that gets killed because no one wants him, or the dog that has been with the no-kill shelter for two years for the same. I love him too much to allow either of those things to happen, and at least if he is with me I know he's not being abused or neglected. Much Love, Meg
  5. Virgil's Avatar
    Well, I'm glad you will keep him if you can't fnd a good home. How old is he?
  6. andave_ya's Avatar
    Oh, Meg, that's really hard. I'm so sorry - I can't believe how much it would hurt to give up a beloved pet.
  7. kiz_paws's Avatar
    Awwww, Meg, this is a sad situation indeed. But you need to do what you feel is best for everyone, including your dear little dog. The decision to find a new home is not an easy one to bear, but i feel in my heart of hearts that it is for the best. The little guy sounds terribly unhappy, and there isn't much that you can do that you haven't tried already (outside of meds, which is a course of action that may be dealt with IF you cannot find a new home for him). In any case, I send you my hugs because I know how much you care and this is not an easy time. Love K♥z