Barmy Blue's Bland Blog

Okay, last week.
Monday
Played my game most of the day.


Tuesday
Mum brought home a document for me to read to see how I could change it (One of her bosses wants me to proof read these things, and by the look of that one, they need the help ) and until she got home I was playing my game again.

Wednesday
Same as Tuesday but I had a bath too

Thursday
Now, over the weekend, I was thinking it'd be nice to see Rocky again because I hear him barking more and I wonder if he's alright and that his owners are treating him well. Big mistake. because what do I find when I wake up at 2:30pm? A dog laying by the kitchen door. But not just any dog, oh no. An over active, over excitable Heinz 57, German shepherd, Rotwiler. That’s right. Rocky. I ended up spending most of the day entertaining him, until he decided to do what all comedy stereotype dogs do, I believe the term is leg humping. However, he isn’t a little Chihuahua and his claws, though completely blunt, hurt. Unlike a cat, he can’t draw blood with his claws, but he can leave bruises. He’s got a good grip too. However, I happen to know from watching QI that dogs don’t actually mate doggy style. According to the QI elves they start off like that and end up turning round, so I wasn’t worried about my leg at least. Although to show him that humans don’t like this kind of attention (especially from a dog as big as he is) I left him and ignored him for a while as punishment (not that it was much of a punishment, but he’s not my dog to punish, and even if he was I’d be worried about hitting him anyway. Cat’s are easy, they can’t kill you in a rage, a dog can, that’s why I’m more cautious of dogs that cats). Anyway, later on in the day he decided to explore and got stuck in a neighbor’s garden, through a hole in the fence. I couldn’t leave him there, it was better if I kept an eye on him for various reasons. So I put on the gardening gloves and went to get him out. Eventually I managed and how was I rewarded? With another vice like grip around my leg. Some gratitude. So I ignored him again. Later on still, as I was bugging mum to hurry up and get home she suggested we feed him, seeing as he’d been there all day, and cat food is a snack to him anyway. So I did. But I spread it around the plate so that he couldn’t eat it in one go and had to lap it up, therefore making him think there was more than there was. I worried that he looked rather thin around the hips, but when mum got home she said that it was just because he was growing up (She’d had dogs before so she knows more than me) and when she changed she went out to play with him a bit. She’s not as scared of him as me. But then again, she’s bigger than me. When ever he sees her he gets over excited. I guess it’s because she’s more at ease around him than me. Then, he ran off into another neighbor’s garden, and they were in, luckily they seemed to like dogs, unlike the guy in the other garden last time. They managed to direct him back to my garden and I had to stand in the way of the hole to stop him going in again. I was rather uncomfortable because I prefer to have my back to a wall around him, in case he jumps up at me, because if he does I know I won’t be able to stand. But he was entertained with a Volvic bottle unfortunately, the little lady next door to us (the one who hates him because she actually takes pride in her garden which he then destroys) was talking to me over the thorns. But because she’s a little lady and our thorns are so high I could only see the top of her head, which made understanding her very difficult because I could hardly hear her. Then mum came back and I completely forgot the conversation (in which she had asked me to do something about her talking to the owner or something like that, it didn’t sink in) We got him out and handed him over and as the regular dog retriever was about to leave she came out and I remembered she’d wanted to complain to him. Mum ushered me back inside so as we wouldn’t get involved. So, after all that, I won’t be wishing to see the demon dog again any time soon .

Friday
Much the same as Tuesday.

And that’s about it.

Bluebiird out.

Oh, and by the way, a Heinz 57 is what mum calls a mongrel, Heinz 57 is nicer. If anyone knows the origin of this term I’d be interested to know, because I’ve noticed that Heinz bottles have a 57 on them too. Coincidence?