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Obsession and Gratitude

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by
Anza
, 06-19-2008 at 08:30 AM (1235 Views)
Obsession

This is the note I gave him last Tuesday...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

David,
There's not been a day go by that I haven't thought of you. Through every late night, through every early morning; through every triumph, disaster, and Stress. Through every moment, there you were in the back of my mind, the words, "I'm not mad I just need some space," echoing like a haunted melody in my ears.
Along with that solemn, accusing lament was an unforgettable ache throbbing with every beat of my heart.
I would do anything to have you back. Every eloquence to fall from the human tongue, every gesture; anything I could do-- it is yours.
I love you. I have loved you-- from the moment we locked gazes to the moment we locked lips, to the moment I locked you out of my heart. I made a HUGE mistake, and I am sorry. Please forgive me, take me back; you know my number.

Gratitude

Thank you to all the people who responded to the last one, in PM's or at the blog. I appreciate Baki for her gently slap in the face... reality tastes good! Shurtie, I thank you for your seemingly irrelevant bit that spoke mountains. Sweets, I appreciate your insight from nearer to his point of view. Virgil, you inspire me-- thanks. Bailey, thanks for being here for me, and yes it is. Sprinks, I appreciate your well wishes. Spur, always the first to rush to my aid... thank you so much. And thanks to all of you who had the patience to read the whole, entire entry, because-- holy cow-- it was long. I have decided to make a new section of bloggy goodness. I have all of the screennames of the people I care a lot about on here, and I shall randomly draw one and make a tribute to that person. Bookmark the page and if ever you feel down you can drop by for a visit...
Also... I am sure all of you are as tired of hearing about it as I am of thinking about it. So, I'm gonna make nice blogs and think happy thoughts until he's back from Virginia. It seems that a bit of eagerness and enthusiasm to make things right turned into an obsession... so I'll try to keep it light.
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Comments

  1. motherhubbard's Avatar
    Oh, Anza- I'm sorry you are having a sad/hard time.
  2. sprinks's Avatar
    I think the way you have handled all of this has been very mature. It's all been so much, yet you are still here, and you are still able to think positive and happy things!! It is something you should be highly commended for; I mean like I know people who would just break down and lose it after being through not even half of all the love troubles etc. that you have/ are going through!! But you are a trooper and a legend (although I'm not sure if it's just Australians that say that, I hear it a lot around school, but I haven't really used that phrase yet )!! I admire you for that.
  3. mtpspur's Avatar
    Redemption-we all need it and some even really want it. I see you are starting to come out of the dark. At the tender age of 21 when Linda C. turned down my wedding proposal I was unconsolable for over a year in which it took years to realize I cheated myself of a year of moving on and discovering what's out there. Not sure how your journey will work out of course but a lost cause should never be mourned beyond areasonable length of time. I would hate to think your life and vitality being sapped dry in such a manner. On the other hand 29 was a bit late to get married but it seems to be working out. Rich
  4. Sweets America's Avatar
    Glad to know you've decided to try and feel better!
  5. Shurtugal's Avatar
    Glad i could help. and i'm sorry you are havin such a tough time.