andave's place

I can’t decide if an empty piece of paper scares me or excites me. I always come to blogging with something to write about, but just the idea of writing down what I have to say is eerily like writing a story, and there’s a rather high standard for those!

Well, today at any rate I want to blog, even though I did yesterday. Incidentally, if anyone wants to read some of my stuff, go to yesterday’s entry.
I’m kind of excited – God opened a door for me to begin working with books. Last week at a graduation (more on that later) my pastor asked me about what I’m going to do after I graduate next year. That’s how the subject got around to English; I want to teach English at a university. He was kind of surprised about my wanting to be a professor, but I want to discuss literature, not feed it to people because it’s going to be on a test. When I explained, he nodded and asked me if I would be willing to help him in a project that he’s been slowly working on: finding and buying out-of-print Christian literature and publishing and distributing them worldwide for free. He wants to make them more accessible to the modern reader, which would mean actual, real editing not only for grammar but for abridging – and he wants me (!) to do it. I’m excited because not only would I be reading very old books but because I’ll be learning priceless truths from them even while I’m reworking the archaic language into something easier for people to read. Also, if I ever want to publish something academic I’ll have some sort of foundation to fall back on.

That graduation was the first time I actually felt like seventeen. Next year I’m going to be one of seven up on the podium, graduating high school. I’ll present some speech (who knows? I might even present the senior address!) and I’ll talk about aspirations and the privilege of education and all those high and lofty principles I’m so fond of. My sister will laugh maniacally as my slideshow rolls on, a montage of embarrassing pictures changing in time to some song either from LOTR or Celtic Woman. At least that’s the plan. We’ll see what God has in store.

Moving on, I finished The Brothers Karamazov yesterday. Here’s a bit of what I wrote in my book journal:
“There—I just finished TBK. I almost cried at the end, what with Alyosha’s speech to Kolya and the others. How very fascinating all the characters are! IN a way, Mitya is the equivalent of Freud’s Id, and Ivan the equivalent of his superego. Alyosha is – what? He’s not the ego. But perhaps he is sincerity. Yes, Alyosha is sincerity, and in the end the boys worshipped him. Ivan, the intellect, lays at death’s door…Interesting, that, especially in the light of him being a closet Romantic. Dmitri (ah, Mitya!) is perhaps brashness. Poor man! Poor man! To be reduced to an alleged murderer for the fervent passions of love! I think Mitya felt that he was capable of great things, but with that he was also capable of horrible things, even murder, though he didn’t murder Fyodor Pavlovitch. The two extremes of the Karamazov!

After reading this book I can say that I understand why Russian names are spoken of with such reverence, and I cannot wait for Russia to really recover from communism and reclaim her heritage once again. She could have been truly great were it not for those idiots Lenin, Trotsky and Stalin.”