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In Limbo

In Limbo (Introduction/The Begining)

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by
sparr0w
, 04-26-2008 at 07:53 PM (2836 Views)
"Any problem can be solved with proper concentration.
Any code can be broken with a little time
and a viable starting point.
Things tend to end in much the same fashion
in which they began.
What falls in the middle, as riddles,
are the interchangeable".
-(Introduction, Shoelaces For Tranquilizers, by me)

And so here I am. Here I sit in this place with bottle in hand... Here we are at the begining of my one and only blog, which I will title "In Limbo". The passages will be labeled accordingly (IE In Limbo 001, In Limbo 002, etc). Eventually, my goal here is to chronicle my thoughts, experiences, and insights on a weekly basis (though I may choose to post more than once a week at times). Before we get to that, however, I will aim to catch you, the reader, up on my life story. The things that have happened in my life up until now, and the way in which I theorise how these experiences may have affected and/or impact myself, my thought processes, my overall approach to life, and also not to discount the effect these experiences may have had on those around me who love me (which inarguably affects me by proxy in return).
I must also forwarn you that the story of my life is, how shall I put it politely, "inordinate". Yes, inordinate. That is a good word. A good start at least. Another way to put it is that there are people out there who may find themselves being disturbed by some of the things which they may read in this blog, particularly these opening entries which tell the backstory of my life. There is everything from homelessness to alcoholism and heroin addiction to molestation, and then some things that are even worse. If you are easily offended or disturbed, I do not recommend continuing.
Otherwise, if you do decide to read on, for whatever reason it may be, I can certainly promise you one thing: Honesty. I will be brutally honest and censor nothing. The main reason for this is my overall aim here: To subject myself to a searing self-analysis though incredibly sincere introversion. Some of you may no doubt benefit from this. As I alluded to before, there are a number of reasons one may choose to read this blog, and then another set of reasons alltogether why one may choose to continue reading after starting.
Perhaps you are reading this because you are a fan of my poetry. Perhaps you wish a looking glass into someone elses mind. Maybee you hope to learn the lessons which I learned for you through my actions and experiences, so that possibly you can "take my advice", instead of following in my footsteps and suffering the consequenses which I have suffered. A good portion of you are simply bored. Whatever your reasoning, I hope you enjoy. I hope you can get something out of it. And finally, I really really hope that if you choose to read these entries, you choose also to leave some kind of comment. I don't care if you have criticism. That's cool, as long as it's constructive (It's okay to disagree with what I write. Just tell me why).
I don't care if you don't have anything "deep" or "insightful" to say. A simple "thanks for taking the time" is high praise, indeed! It really bums me out with my poetry when I see, for example, 144 views, but only 10 comments. It leaves me thinking I did something wrong. Also, I would really above all appreciate it if you were to tell your friends to check out these blogs (if you enjoy them, that is). If you shoot me a Personal Message, I could keep you updated on when I post a new "In Limbo" blog, and also if you would like, whenever I post a new poem. Again, thank you so much for at least reading this, and I sincerely hope you plan to continue following up with future posts.
-De Mi Corrizone- Chris O.
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Comments

  1. Virgil's Avatar
    Welcome Sparrow. I hope you won't be so hard on yourself. We're all human.
  2. mtpspur's Avatar
    I liked your introduction. I enjoy candor for its cut to the chase approach. I try hard to be honest about my failings (but not to point of image suicide--some sins do not deserve the exposure and we like to think there is redemption and mercy for past deliberate lapses of judgement. Now to be honest poetry is a bit of a mystery to me. I like Dark Muse best here but I rarely 'get' it and she's too nice to mock me. Your commentators here are a generous lot and a sympathetic group. I promise you (from me) that my comments will be sincere if not constructive and I NEVER do false pity. I can be sorry for a situation but often what's done is done and would encourage rebuilding. Again welcome. By the by if it helps 10 comments is an extraordinary response ratio to views. I for one plead jealousy.
  3. sparr0w's Avatar
    Thank you both for the response! I am curious as to how you happened upon here, but I suppose that does not matter as much as the fact that you are here... mtpspur: Just so you know, I don't look for any pity at all. Overall, I see myself as a happy person, and all of these things which have happened which I will be discussing have fallen into perspective for me over time. That's actually one of the points of writing this. I seek closure for myself, not pity. Pity is useless, and "Boring, sydney. Fu-cking boo-ring"... And as far as the point of "image suicide"... I don't believe such a thing is really possible. In my case, I can say that living through certain things and "surviving" them (meant more in the emotional sense than the physical) has given me a wonderful and EARNED perspective in life, which few my age are privy to. This, in turn, and at least in my opinion, makes me a better person for it. All wisdom is bred of perspective... never forget that. Also, I would recommend you check out my past poetry posts, just to get an idea where I'm coming from. I would certainly appreciate it, and it may give you some, what's that word again... Ah, yes. Perspective. And to Virgil: I suppose the same statement applies to your comment, but don't worry about me being "too hard" on myself. That's the whole idea behind introverted self analysis, which is very VERY theraputical. That's it for now. I'll be making the first real post either tomorrow or the next day. I invite you both to check it out and let me know what you think. Peace- Chris
  4. mtpspur's Avatar
    Chris--right back at you with no beating around the bush comments. In thinking it over I was hasty in the pity remark. A bit of the drama queen I suspect. Anyone as forward as you (I mean this as a compliment) would not need that sort of encouragement. My image remark was based on a very real fear of some of personal demons exposed to the light of day in which as often as I protest that I am very shallow and quite capable of and have committed great evils too many people here think I'm some sort of wonderful (but not in the way they adore Robinhood3000 or Pendragon to mention two widely different but beloved litnetters here.) Personally I hope to gain information from of your life in better understanding and handling some of those past demons to the betterment of the future activities though it's highly unlikely some of those ghosts will reappear any year soon.

    I found your blog simply by scanning the listing and noticed the low figure and I try to read almost any and all here. An attempt to comment and everyone went south after a week or so but I have and continue to meet interesting people that have added something of value to my life. I have to be a mood for poetry (which admitedly is not often) but as before Dark Muse is the favorite. Whether thats good or bad is moot since I usually don't know what she's talking about. See my note about lighthouses on a recent poem of hers and you'll see my problem. Nice to see you can turn oyur life into one of affirmation and growth. I tend to wallow a bit longer then is seemly myself. But God is still good.
  5. sprinks's Avatar
    Well, first of all, welcome to the blogs! I'm looking forward to your future entries, sounds like it'll all be very interesting. I quite like learning about peoples lives, whether it be someone I know well or someone I barely know at all. It's just interesting to learn about their experiences, because you yourself can never experience everything, and it always interests me to see how people view things, especially since although I'm quite young I already view most things in a different way to many others, especially those in my age group. I'm eagerly awaiting your next entries, and also looking forward to some interesting discussions with you! And I know what you mean about when heaps of people view your stuff but don't comment... That sinking feeling when you see that barely anyone has commented... But also there's the awesome feeling when people do leave comments!
  6. 's Avatar
    I would love to read your blog . . . not because I'm nosy . . . I'm not that. But because some of the experiences that you've listed have also affected me. I admire your courage in writing honestly about things in a public forum by the way. I tried writing stuff about my own life on Microsoft Word and I didn't get far, even though it was private.

    I look forward for your next posts. -

    be well - Trystan