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Did I do the right thing???

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12 Comments
by
Anza
, 04-29-2008 at 06:06 PM (1280 Views)
"David,
I was wondering if you would like to come to my orchestra concert next week-- as my friend.
After great thought I have decided to break up with you; not out of contempt or resentment, but rather out of guilt. When we started dating I was not having the domestic issues that I am now.
It is not fair that I can never call you. It is not fair that I can never see you. It's not fair of me to cry upon your shoulder.
It is a burden on my heart to leave you, but also a burden on my heart to stay. I hope you understand, and also that we remain friends. I just don't feel like I've been the girlfriend you deserve. I wanted to do this last week, but I couldn't bring myself to break up with you right before your birthday. I'm so sorry.

Amber"

This was what I said to him-- in so many words-- over the telephone this afternoon. Was it the right thing to do?
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Comments

  1. 1n50mn14's Avatar
    Ohh Anza... I beleive he's willing to be there for you, and there is no right or wrong to this situation- it's on him if it's too much. Not you. =/. Had he ever expressed annoyance or sadness at the situation? I know what it's like to feel that kind of guilt, but I also know what it's like to love and trust somebody so much that I know it doesn't matter.
  2. Bakiryu's Avatar
    *hugs* ..
  3. motherhubbard's Avatar
    that was a hard thing to do. I'm sorry that you are having a rough time.
  4. Virgil's Avatar
    Oh Amber. I'm sorry. You can only answer that question.
  5. Sweets America's Avatar
    I think you should not decide at his place if you're the right one for him or not. It is only him who can know that, not you. A man I loved very much broke up with me for the same reasons and I was so angry at him because I loved him even if he thought he didn't deserve me. I thought it was so unfair that he decided at my place, as if he didn't trust my love.
  6. Anza's Avatar
    Thanks, Sweets... but I'm not deciding for him...
    I don't think I could live with myself thinking that I was burdening him. Even if my reality is wrong.
    And Becca, he hasn't expressed any emotion about the situation. He's too selfless to.
  7. kiz_paws's Avatar
    Well, to answer your question, I think that those kind of words are better said in person (if that is the way that you truly feel, though I do hear what Sweets was saying). Using a telephone is kind of second-rate, sorry to be negative, Anza, but you did ask for our opinion. I feel really bad and sad for you that you feel that you cannot date this guy for reasons that are out of your control. But, if things are meant to be, they will fall into place despite all the things that we do to prevent them. You know? Karma and all that jazz... Please take care, I really wish you peace in your life. Kz
  8. Anza's Avatar
    The problem is, Kiz, that I never see him. I saw him once after States, and that was it...
  9. Sweets America's Avatar
    Yes, I know that you did that because you thought it would be better for him, but still, it's for him to decide if he feels burdened or not, because maybe there were your own insecurities speaking here... That's my opinion anyway, but I am not saying you're a bad person, don't worry.
  10. 's Avatar
    i dont mean to sound a pest but i see a repatition here
  11. Anza's Avatar
    sadly, I do too. With you, though, Erik. it was an escape because I felt trapped. There's really bad issues going on domestically, now...
  12. 's Avatar
    i understand, im only a pirch and a shoulder to cry on, but im ok with that. anytime you need it but util that day i will walk my path and you will walk yours until they meet again