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Ok. Since everyone knows what a luscious malchick I am, let me account of a horrid instance where self respect and vanity led me to the vilest words yours truly uttered in his existence. A certain spinster told me an offensive statement of which I cannot forgive. This spinster may have enough recomendations from everybody. She's an affectionate, good natured woman; if you'd call an ugly, bragging, ill-disposed good natured. She's gums turned into a human form. We were discussing books, but it would be easier to say that she's discussing books, along with other acquaintances. To imagine her scope would be easy: the Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter. I would like to point out that in our country once you've read these books you're a genius. In the Philippines reading these are achievements of intelligence, patience and money spent. It is the greatest of sights to see someone reading the latest Harry Potter in a public utility vehicle, but watch out if they catch you reading To the Lighthouse. Anyway, this spinster had much of her say relating to Harry Potter, of how the movie version differed from the book etc. Speaking of movie adaptations I had this impulse and I said "Have you seen the new Pride & Prejudice?"

The ugly spinster said "Jane something wrote that right?"
I felt gratified, finally someone I could talk to about Austen. So I replied "Why, yes, Jane Austen."
The she said "Jane Austen's catered for women."

For a guy this is already an insult. But if you think Jane Austen's the greatest aid in social paralysis this is blasphemy. Reader, I'd sincerely wish to give the details of my countenance but honestly my heart stopped and everything turned blank for a few seconds. The next thing I remember I was calling her a horse.

"You horse. You ****ing ugly horse!"

I know it's mean, but it felt good anyway. Why? Why? If Jane Austen's catered for women I'm sure Harry Potter isn't any better. Why feel proud of kiddie books? I had no idea magic spells can be worth writing home about, well, of course if you think Charmed is the smartest TV series then good for you.