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Sci Fi Story

The Familial Soul Collector

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by
B-Mental
, 04-06-2008 at 09:09 AM (1609 Views)
I don't know why, but strange things happen to me. My Father was dying for 5 years. It was a slow laborious death. My Mother was his careprovider. She is my angel. She was his angel. Everytime she would call me, she would say, "This is it. This is might be the last time you see him." I took every opportunity I had to drive from basically New Orleans, Louisiana to Minneapolis, Minnesota. It was very bizarre. I arrived one time and my cousin Jeff died. The next time, my Step-Grandfather dies. It seems to me that so many times I came home, and always someone died. I eventually became fearful.

I finally made a trip with friends to go to Big Sky, Montana with some friends from work. I was there, and my Aunt Patty slipped. You know how loose lips sink ships. It was my first vacation in years. I was so excited to have some time to forget my cares and worries. Patty tells me, "Maybe you should call home." I ask why, thinking this time my father has died, and she doesn't know how to tell me. Nope not Dad this time. My mother had been outside shovelling snow, and had collapsed. My family had kept this from me. I would have been there in Wisconsin, if someone had told me.

Anyways, I do believe in the continuation of life, and rebirth. When my brother Joe and his wife Nancy had Jane, I had visited. I damn near died myself the day before Jane was born. That was the day I tore my knee up in New Zealand. I was too tough and too stubborn to die. I ended up back up in Wisconsin. My Grandmother had he 90th birthday, and just a couple of weeks later she died. Jane's baptism was coming up, so my brother Tom (Jane's Godfather) missed his Grandmother's funeral to attend the baptism. I had the honor of being one of the pallbearers at her funeral. I then drove straight down to Louisiana to attend Jane's baptism. This all happened before and after Easter the year of Janes birth.

I just wanted to post this to aid in my attonement. I've been asked questions about what happened to put me in the psychward, and as I answered them Joe's wife thinks I'm blaming her for something I don't blame her at all. I know she tried to come get me out of jail, but the police wouldn't let her take me out. Its like my life is some sort of game to them. Anyways, I offered my soul up to God for her unborn child's life. This has created a great deal of agony for me. I've prayed every day for her unborn child's life...for it to be long and prosperous and filled with happiness. Still she is mad at me for the tone of my voice, or the words I use. Its not easy being the one that sees the banshee in the family.
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Comments

  1. kiz_paws's Avatar
    I don't think that you need to worry about being responsible for the timing of other people's deaths. I do admit that it would make me stop and think and wonder -- but going by what I believe (a merry hodge podge that it is) -- if I thought that I was responsible for things like Death, well that thought alone puts me on a plane higher than those around me then. You know? So I would just accept it and not make it a personal issue. I always noted (in my family) that when there is a death, there is always a life nearby. It is very strange indeed, but a baby appears before or after a loved one passes on. And I thought it almost eerie that our family number then, never changes ... But I try to not think about that strange factor, and rejoice with the births and mourn those that I miss. Anyhow, take care, Pete. Heal and grow strong, we're thinking of ya! Kizzo
  2. mtpspur's Avatar
    Pete the only atonement that counts is the one provided by the Lord Christ. With respect present yourself to Him for peace of mind. All the days of mankind are in His hands and it's best we don't the when of our departure. I see no connection with your visits or non-visits with the pasage of life into death. Now I need to gently chide you. A pregnant woman is v-e-r-y- aware of the of the life they carry within them. I KNOW you mean well with your prayers but and consider them a blessing to Joe's wife but I asure you this just adds an unwanted burden to her as the lady wonders and frets and joys and fears the time of birth until the safety of the child is confirmed with that first cry of life. Best to be encouraging andkeeps your private fears/worroies private. I do mean this in a spirit of encouragment and not to put you off. All the bets. Rich
  3. B-Mental's Avatar
    mtpsur, I know what you mean, but there is a moment, and mine is now.
  4. B-Mental's Avatar
    Kiz, thanks for hanging in there my friend. I don't take responsibility, I just think its more than an coincidence that's all. Some would call me superstitious, I'd call myself observant in the spiritual nature of things.
  5. 1n50mn14's Avatar
    It sounds as though you have been through a lot in your life, and a lot of it sounds unfair- but, that is life. I don't have much advice or encouragement to offer related exactly to this entry- other than peace and love. Everything works itself out in the end. *hippy*
  6. B-Mental's Avatar
    Thanks Becca. I'm not complaining, only leaving testament to my life... I will try to bring more happy blogs, but in the next month I must keep busy. B
  7. applepie's Avatar
    While I can tell that this pains you, and it leaves you superstitious thinking you may be the cause, perhaps you may wish to view things from another angle Pete. You are an amazing person, and maybe, just maybe they don't die because of your presence. They may just hang on until you are able to be with them. Some crosses are not yours to bear my friend, and this is one that should not hang over you so. I hope things are working out for you. There are few people here whom I worry over, and fret over their wellfare, but you are one of them. Take care, and I hope that some happier thoughts come your way. I have to agree with Kiz, rejoice in the life and mourn those that pass on, but heal. Do not feel as if you are to blame. Take Care, Meg