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Lisa

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by
B-Mental
, 03-31-2008 at 08:03 PM (1872 Views)
Well as I mentioned in my last blog. This entry is about the name Lisa. My sister, yes my one and only sister, is named Lisa. I love her very much although we don't see eye to eye. Lisa had a very rare disease when she was little. The disease caused bruises to form from very common pressure on her skin. My parents took her to the hospital, and were accused of abusing her. It took a long time for her to be diagnosed as so few cases happen each year. I remember going with my parents and brothers to the hospital. We weren't allowed to see her, so we laid out on the lawn while my Mother went up, and spelled out the words "We Love You" one letter at a time as she watched. Her nickname is "Boss". I've always felt that she had to have it her way, and she always felt she had to have it her way.

Lisa #2, was also a manipulator. She is the biological birther of MY DAUGHTER. She used to call me up, and tell me how my daughter would never call me "Daddy". She would say how a judge told her this. Note that it would be unethical for a judge to involve himself in any role. Lisa would ask for more money for some bills, and I would give her more money. I was still in college working extra jobs to make ends meet, and would have to work long overtime hours. The straw that broke the camels proverbial back? Lisa met a man...we were never married. She would then beg my Mom to come over and babysit as it was an emergency. Then she went over to this guy she would eventually marry. My Mom didn't want to be in this position, so I went to see Lisa. I asked her to call me instead, and I would have someone else work for me, so I could spend some time with my daughter...you know the one that can't call me Dad. Anyways, Lisa laid into me with fury. She had to have it her way. It didn't matter what the reason, we were supposed to be there at the beck and call of my daughter's needs. My daughter witnessed this, and began to scream with tears of fear.

I'm a big wimp obviously. The one thing I can't stand is to see children cry, it breaks my heart. That was the only time I saw her cry in close to 24 months of her life. It wasn't long before Lisa and this man were engaged. I signed over my rights of fatherhood, because I couldn't tolerate the abuse anymore. Oh well not the happiest entry, but this was 17 years ago, sometimes the memories that linger most are the ones that involve pain.
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  1. Shalot's Avatar
    That's really sad. At least you didn't WANT to give your rights away because you didn't want to pay the money. I spent last Friday listening to my coworker tell me about being a single mother. Her situation is a little different than yours, but I think I remember making the comment, "It seems like women always end up holding the bag." In her situation, the father is involved in her child's life, and goes to school for parent teacher conferences, and is involved with the discipline of the child, but he doesn't pay child support or help her with expenses because he won't get a job. I guess I have heard more stories about the bad men who left the woman all alone to raise the child alone, so naturally I identified with that. The bottom line is that it's hard to be a parent sometimes and you did what you thought was best for your child and that is commendable. I think the guy who can't a job but goes to parent teacher conferences is doing his best as well. What he does is not good for my co-worker, but she puts that aside because she loves her child and whenever I think about it, I send well wishes her way.
  2. B-Mental's Avatar
    Thanks for the comment Shalot. You would not believe the condescension I've gotten from some Christians. They seem to think I did wrong.
  3. andave_ya's Avatar
    Ow, I'm really sorry about that, B. That IS really sad.
  4. Virgil's Avatar
    Me too. I can't stand to see children cry. Poor little tykes.
  5. motherhubbard's Avatar
    That’s a hard situation. You did what you thought was best and what more can be expected of you? You shouldn’t beat yourself up.
  6. Niamh's Avatar
    its a shame you had to sign over your rights. Have you ever seen her since?
  7. B-Mental's Avatar
    Thanks for the comments everyone. Its not that bad you get used to it. I've seen her a couple times since. I watched her at a piano recital, a basketball game, when she was in the play "Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat". Whats even sadder, is that I drove back to see her one time and my sister Lisa guilted me into not seeing her. My sister, the one that I took the fall for when she did something wrong.
  8. kiz_paws's Avatar
    Aww, Pete, this was a sad entry. I feel so bad for you that you have been treated so poorly. I hope one day, that your daughter will realize that she was handed a pack of lies, and that she will seek you out because you love her with all your heart and always did. Since she has your DNA, she will have inherited all the kind and good things that make you tick, Pete. You can count on it. I was pleased to see that you saw her in a piano recital -- awesome! I play piano, too. Well, take care, Pete, some day your ship will come in. Love, Kizzo
  9. 1n50mn14's Avatar
    I am so sorry... I can't imagine how difficult that is.

    Peace.
    Becca
  10. mtpspur's Avatar
    Well we have some experience with signing away rights but I hasten to assure you son Jim's case was way different from yours. I have a co-worker here in similar positions--the mother of his daughter does everything possible to sabotage the relationship and T. wants to be a part of her life.

    Right/wrong. Hard to say and with my checkered past I am unwilling to pass judgement. Some day your daughter will know you forthe special man you are and hopefully some peace of it.

    Amen to the condescending Christians. We can be practicing judgement but mercy needs to be filtered through at the same time. Hang in B.
  11. 's Avatar
    B... I'm sorry about that... that is really quite sad... You did what you thought was best for your child and that is the best thing you could have done.. the memories that are always the most vivid and longest lasting are th painful ones... Some are just more painful than others, and this one seems of that sort.. so I am sorry for your loss of your relationship with your child... though happy you have gotten to see her a few times since, and parts of her growing up like paino recitals and plays... when things hit rock bottom, they always eventually get better... Someday things will look up...
  12. B-Mental's Avatar
    I want people to know that I have long ago forgiven both of these women. I love my sister unconditionally, and always will. Lisa the mother of my daughter was there for her when I wasn't. She was there when my daughter scratched her knee, or needed advice. The thing is she wanted what I couldn't give. She ended up with what she needed. I see Lisa and her husband (last time was at a class reunion). I told them both how proud I was of them. My two favorite girlfriends are my mother and my daughter.