NOT FOR THE FAINT-HEARTED: Tales of Crazy Possession and Lethal Obsession

Finally! After ages of being an extinct species… here I am. Online again.

I was last sighted in this place a few weeks ago by explorers who happened to be passing through my territory, and really, I didn’t mind at all; in fact, I welcomed them with such high acceptance that even after my disappearance they still look back to the moment they first saw me walking out of my burrow and extending my hand. How do I know? Well, I have my sources. The prairie is vast and extends almost infinitely to the horizon, the planet a million times larger, yet after each mile there is a checkpoint erected to my own advantage, each of which is home to one of my knowing friends. Haha. You know I’m just kidding, senselessly, in fact. Admit it. I’m making no sense to you. Not that I find much sense and substance in what I’m saying either. I’m just happy because I’m back, and for what is not just an ordinary day, but my 1st Year Anniversary! Such a wonderful reason to indulge in

Well, it isn’t really my first year anniversary today today. I don’t even know when it is. All I know is that I joined litnet on May 2007 (that’s what’s displayed on my account) but I don’t know the exact date—I don’t really care. After all, what matters is that I’ve found this place, having stumbled across it one year ago (accuracy never counts) out of what I believe is pure luck and sympathy (I thank Thee, Lord), was here for a year, and am back again. I won’t be here long, but soon after I’ve adjusted to the comfiness of my good ol’ burrow I’ll return—and that’s for sure. Plus, here’s some wonderful news for you, for I won’t just be back with myself, but also I’ll be bringing some wonderful surprises! So don’t forget to drop by my home constantly, even when I’m not around, for who knows? You don’t want to miss out on some splendid things!

P.S. To all American Idol fanatics. This is good news for you, because I’m with you somehow. DAVID COOK ROCKS!!! Congratulations to the lucky brute…