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Barmy Blue's Bland Blog

Not him again

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by
Bluebiird
, 03-30-2008 at 04:56 PM (1077 Views)
Guess who.
Tom.
He did something I considered doing but didn't.
He sent me an email for my birthday to my yahoo, hotmail and my home account

"So sorry I didn't send this yesterday, we were seeing my Uncle and by the time we got home, well...

How are you? Everything going okay at Uni? When will you next be coming home to visit?

~CA" (I've abbreviated Character A, which is how he signed it.)
Dare I reply?
I daren't tell him I'm already home and will be home for another week.
I don't really want to talk to him but I don't want to be rude and I don't want him hassling me to reply and then have to come up with various excuses.
But if I reply then he may send more correspondence via hotmail or yahoo, depending on which I reply to.
I didn't send him one for his birthday because I didn't want to remind him of the other email accounts, start a conversation with him or give any indication that I was free over the weekend.
So, I'm faced with the same old dilemma and it makes me angry. I know one thing, I can't send any response (should I choose to) while I'm angry, but I'm also feeling rather soft for some reason, could be from the anime I'm watching, Ouran High School Host Club, silly but sweet, I think (Ripton showed us the first episode in the first anime club but he didn't like it, we saw a few in later club when Ripton wasn't there) and before that I was watching Chobits (we saw the first episode in a later anime club too)
So, like I said, I can't talk to Tom yet. I started feeling angry when I told mum about him emailing me. I started to feel the hatred rising. I thought I'd got rid of it. I calmed myself down quickly enough but I can't believe I can still get angry about nothing when he's concerned. I thought I was over the Tom Fletcher illness. Apparently not. Damnit!

So, I find myself asking for advice or opinions of my fellow lit. netters.

Anyone got any advice/opinions on this most recent drama in my recurring dilemma?

Bluebiird out.
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Comments

  1. Anza's Avatar
    I'm afraid I just came across your blog. I can give pretty good advice, if I do say so myself. But would you first explain "Tom" and the whole Tom Fletcher disease thingy??
  2. Bluebiird's Avatar
    Tom is a recurring theme in my blog. The verry verry verry short version, he was my best friend, we ended up falling out alot and drifting apart so I decided to slowly cut him out of my life. I don't really know if he's figured it out yet or not but it should be obvious by now.
    And that's the extra short version of the Tom Fletcher saga.
  3. Anza's Avatar
    I like how you described it.
    I tried to do that with my ex-boyfriend. It doesn't work. I'm sorry if that wasn't whta you wanted to hear, but you cannot simply cut someone out of your life-- that would uncomplicate everything, I'm sure.
    What I did with Erik, is I correspond over the phone (rarely), and through e-mail. That's the best way. Eventually, they stop replying. Wait a day every message he sends you. "Oh my I'm busy." I'll make this a private comment, because he has a Litnet account, and I don't want to let him know what I'm doing. I don't want to hurt his feelings-- I just don't want him all over me, anymore. I get the feeling you want the same.
  4. Shalot's Avatar
    If you're determined to cut him out, just don't reply to his email, and don't give any sort of explanation. If you bump into him by accident or something and he presses you for details, lie or give some transparent b.s. excuse and continue in that fashion until he too decides that the friendship is over. It will take a while but eventually it does sink in. I know this from experience. I've been the cuttee and the cutter and as a cuttee I realized that I've been quite dense about getting the message. I went through this with my former best friend. Of course, she was female, and I finally sealed the deal by just not going to her damn wedding and being really cold when I bumped into her in the mall. I haven't heard from her since and when I think about her, I don't get warm and fuzzies AT ALL. All I remember is that the friendship is O-V-E-R. But if there is some kind of game being played here or whatever, I still suggest you just not reply until you sort it out. Or you could just tell him straight up that you don't want to hang out anymore and let the chips fall where they may.
  5. Virgil's Avatar
    If you don't want him hassling you anymore just tell him that you just don't want to be bothered anymore. It's harder but final. Actually as a man I would prefer that advice instead of ambiguity (Shalot's advice) that I'm supposed to guess. In the long run, the direct approach saves everyone time and energy.
  6. mtpspur's Avatar
    Br firm, be fair. It was what it was. But you have moved on. Hope he does too. I always disliked him because you always seemed some sort of fall back plan for him or last choice when he was bored plus how he treated you (and thus his lover?? when it went to the states and kept bragging about this and that. Kept thinking he was trying to score on the rebound. Best of luck. But I suspect he'll be in your head on and off for years to come. I have a few ghosts too that come back when I least expect it or want it.