Sci Fi Story

Very briefly, I am on a trip to just find peace of mind. Its still been nervewracking. I ended up driving to Big Sky, Montana from Lafayette, Louisiana. The airlines screwed up my flight. I then ended up driving across the plains of the midwest, and couldn't find any hotels. I was catching cat naps in my car until I found a little place in Kansas with availability. My hypertension was through the roof, because I forgot to bring my medication. Anyways, I thought I was going to die, and wanted to confess my sins.

Prior to my Father's death I went to confession. There I told the priest that my sin was not honoring my Mother and Father enough. This time very concerned that I would have a heart attack I needed to confess that I had sinned. My sin was that I invoked the name of the Lord when I lost faith. I didn't know how to confess this to anyone as I was ashamed of myself for my weakness. Anyways, I ended up going to the church and kneeling there in the silence of the empty church and confessing my sins. I just wanted to sleep in comfort.

I then drove from Kansas to Casper, Wyoming. I visited some friends I worked with, and continued to Buffalo, Wyoming. I again had some chest pains, so I stopped on the interstate in the freezing cold with 20 mph winds. I took water, and poured it over my head as I stood in the cold with my shirt off. I was feeling a little better, but then a bus passed me by. It was filled with these smiling beatific faces of elderly people. I again felt a stab of pain in my chest, and as the bus passed I felt the words spoken, "The little fu***r is going to make it."

When I felt better I continued to Buffalo. I found a hotel room had a bite, and then I went to the neighboring bar. I was alone, and I overhear conversation as people speak aloud. You learn a lot about the world or the area. Anyways, I heard some men speaking about how there was someone travelling and people were following him to harvest his organs. It made me think of the bus of old people, and I just felt that someone was praying for me to die. Which really sucks considering I'm a penitent 39 year old male with a lot to look forward to, and I don't believe that people twice my age should be praying for my death. I know its vain to believe that they were talking about me, but I have learned to become suspicious of the world in general. I drove the next morning to a small town in Montana and entered myself into the emergency room where the doctor said "I wish I had a heart that good." Again this gives me little comfort.

Well, should anyone have been praying for my death, I don't know that I can forgive them at this point. I hope they have the ability to forgive themselves.

This is going to be one of the last of my religous themed entries. I have been extremely observant for this Lenten Season...I pray I make it through Easter. Ok, gotta run, things to do, places to go, women to flee from, and women fleeing me.

Cheers, and Happy St. Patrick's Day.
B