Barmy Blue's Bland Blog

I've got ten days until my aunt's birthday. I want to write something for her, now more than ever, as mum pointed out that it's possible that this could be her last birthday. I've mentioned my dad's brother and mum's sister with ****ing bastard life destroying parasitic bastard cancer!!! one lung and one bowel. If I could I'd TEAR IT LIMB FROM ****ING LIMB, if it had any. Why? Why why WHY? Today I did something I've never seriously done before. You know I make paper cranes, I make lots, just for fun. Ledged has it if you fold a thousand you get a wish. I don't really believe that, it’s certainly not why I fold so many cranes. But I figured if there's any kind of truth to it, I can dream, then now seems to be a good time. I won't tell you specifically what I wished for. I'm sure you can guess anyway, if you can guess don't say it, I have a minor thing about jinxes .
Anyway, I'm back to one of my old dilemmas again. What can I write for my aunt. I never read airy fairy romantic stuff, which is what we guess her as being book wise, not that my family read much. There's only one thing I write worse than romance, which is why I don't write it.
It'd help if I were more into the things I'm trying to write. But I'm just not into that. There are times I'll be urging the main protagonist to go after their true love in films and such, sometimes I go awww and other times I gag, mainly the latter. I can be mushy up to a point but after that it gets boring. But I really want to do it this time. I really really want to do something and send it to her for her birthday, in time. I really really do. But I've got nothing. I can't think. HOW AM I GOING TO DO THIS!! I HAVE to do this, I have to do something. Telling stories is all I can do. I AM a storyteller, not a very good one I'll admit but I am a storyteller. Also, if I do get an idea for something it must not have ay reference to or mention sickness, death or dying AT ALL. But the best way to add drama to a crappy romance is to have something like that in it, so they can pour forth their true feelings, get over it and live happily ever after or one/or all die and it's one of those tear jerkers. Damn this is so annoying! I'm pretty useless, I don't know how to react when someone tells me something sad I don't know how to act, I don't want to say the same thing as everyone else because I imagine that the person(s) involved would be sick of it, but when I do that it sounds like I don't care when I do, so this is the only thing I can do and I CAN'T DO IT!!!! BUGGER BUGGER BUGGER BUGGER BUGGER!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHY CAN'T I THINK OF ANYTHING? WHY CAN'T I WRITE? WHY DOES THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN? That's life. There's a good side to everything EVERYTHING, I believe that, but WHAT'S GOOD ABOUT THIS? IS THERE ANY KIND OF POSITIVE I CAN LOOK TO? WHAT IS IT?
I need to destroy something. Pity I don’t have GTA3 here with me. Well, I'll have to improvise with some crappy online fighting game I guess.

Bluebiird out.