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applepie

Save me from the drama

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by
applepie
, 02-20-2008 at 12:53 AM (1509 Views)
Sorry everyone, but this has turned into my vent spot for the moment. I really need to be saved from the drama surrounding me. On one side there is all the normal drama with my mom, sister, and niece. It is the same old story that Sis isn't taking care of her daughter like she should and Mom and her argue. It has been the same attitudes over different subjects my whole life. I find that I haven't missed it at all while I was away. I miss my quiet, and orderly, life.

Now, there is also the drama from my husband's family. First there was the bit over wanting him to build the fence. That was nipped in the bud, so no big deal. Next comes the news that they have some 7 or 8 more of the alpacas they wish to raise than we thought. If you know anything about them, then you know they are not cheap to buy. Not a big deal if they didn't still owe us money from some three years ago. They can spend tens of thousands on these animals, but they don't have the two thousand they still owe us. Lesson learned on loaning money to family. How do you tactfully broach the subject of being paid back in a more timely manner if they are going to just spend tons of money elsewhere? On another side note with his family, I guess my sister in law is angry with us and talking bad about us to my hubby's mom. I've been borrowing a car from my in laws while I'm here. I guess they are carrying insurance on the car (I know we should have thought of that), but they didn't bother to ask us for any money for it. Now they are upset that we haven't paid, but I didn't give it a second thought when I've still been paying my car insurance that I've always carried. So, I guess my sister in law is complaining rather that just asking us kindly for the money. We've no issue with paying, I've used the car and paying the insurance isn't a big deal. I just want to know why we were not asked instead of hearing through the grapevine that she is unhappy about the whole thing:flare:

I am starting to think that relocation to Alabama might be just the thing. I hope to get the job that I'm interviewing for and one of the options in a couple years may be to transfer to Alabama and their main headquarters. We've spent all the time choosing our house to build... getting the loan, and now I'm thinking that we may just move again anyway to escape his family. We don't fight over money, we just refuse to, and it always seems to be a big deal and an issue with them. To top it, rather than speaking like rational beings... they snipe at one another and say nasty things behind each other's back. Things they would never dare to say to their face, and then have the nerve to be offended when confronted about the issue.

Sorry for the rant, but that's all I've got for the night. I really need to get some sleep for work tomorrow, but I couldn't with that churning in my head. Thanks for reading as it is always a comfort.

With Love,
Meg
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Comments

  1. motherhubbard's Avatar
    I'm sorry Meg- I don't know what else to say.
  2. kiz_paws's Avatar
    Its drama all right, but I suppose all families have their share of it... The backstabbing antics sound vaguely familiar -- oh well! Hey, idea -- move far away. Far Far Away, if you can get that to happen, then you'd only be subjected to nonsense seasonally (there is NO escaping it completely, I hate to say!). But for the now, hang in there, you can vent here! Cheers, Kizzo
  3. mtpspur's Avatar
    I found the car insurance thing interesting. My policy (with All-State) covers me and anyone I allow to drive the car. The rate has NOT gone up. Son-in-law Michael needed a car for about a month back when Dan had left his truck with us while he was in Iraq so I let Michael have the boat (86 Mercury Grand Marquis) for about a month and neither of us mentioned about paying insurance. Since I had to pay it anyway (whether Michael drove it or not) I saw absolutely NO reason to skin a few dollars off him. I would like to think Tom's parents were treating you likewise.

    Family. The great equalizer. Like children fighting over who got the bigger piece of birthday cake. I have not nor ever treated my guttersnipes equally--because guess what --they are three very different individuals with different needs etc etc.

    My real advice to you is that never lose sight that you and your family are in a TRANSITIONAL state and this will not last. Day by day line upon line and keep the goal in sight. You can do this you can do this.

    Venting--never fear it means you're alive. Miss you. Rich
  4. Granny5's Avatar
    Don't you just love in-laws? They are upset because you didn't offer to pay insurance on the car they loaned you, but don't seem to be concerned about the money they owe you. You could always tell them to take the insurance costs out of the $2000 they owe you. That would make you the favorite, I bet.
    Meg, don't make decisions based on your in-laws. Do what is best for you, your husband, and your kids. Take it from me, if you don't, you'll never get out from under their influence.
  5. Virgil's Avatar
    Meg, in my opinion, it's not so much your in-law's fault but your husband's. They're his parents. He needs to speak up, both for the work around their house or for the repayment. Now if they have special circumstances that require his attention or they're delay on reaying, then he needs to explain it to you. But if not, then he's got to open his mouth.
  6. Niamh's Avatar
    family will always be the same no matter what. always the same problem. especially when it comes to money. Loaned my sister €20 to get a taxi to the airport the other day and i happened to mention to my mam yesterday that she owed me money. Apparently i "gifted" her with the money for the taxi. But anyway what i'm getting at is no matter how much they can irritate you, they are what they are, family. And thats the most important part of it. not the money, not the demands but the blood.
  7. B-Mental's Avatar
    I believe someone needs a hug, and a twinkie break. I'm giving you a time out while I look for the cowbell. Keep your chin up kiddo. B
  8. Shalot's Avatar
    They owe you $2000. But it sounds like they probably think they don't owe you the money anymore. And I suspect, that if you just brought the subject up and said (without sounding angry) that you wished to settle the matter of the $2000 they owe you and your use of their car, they would probably somehow turn it around on you. They sound like butts. I've been in situations where I had to borrow money from a family member, and she made it quite clear that strings were attached (after I had borrowed it) and she liked to use my liability as a controlling measure. After I paid her back, I swore I would do anything to avoid borrowing money from her*shudders* Alabama is nice. Roll Tide!