Om

I know God, though God knows me better. My parents know God. My pastor knows God. I don't know all of God and never will, but what I know is heartening as well as awe-inspiring and frightening. I know that I'm going to heaven -- I'm far and away unworthy of it but Jesus died so I could. Yes Christians are condemned by demons but if they trust to God never ravaged; even the demons bow and acknowledge Christ........I couldn't make heads nor tails of the quote. How can we know everything like God? Someone who can take nothing for himself???

God's never shown me a miracle that convinced others, so I know he doesn't work that way. I can take nothing for myself. But I've already asked for and received the truth, of God, which has separated me in this life. But I can't do it alone. Anyone who knows God truly, of course not completely but truly in some amount, is very special. I can't explain why there's so much stress because of this- I don't know. It's because to live anymore, to live in any capacity that is true to God, separates me from everyone, in a way difficult to overcome. The more we know the less we can have, and the more we know the greater burden we bear. Everything I've said is true, but it belies what is underneath. Knowledge of God uplifts burden by its nature. When we turn from worldly engagements to spiritual, our minds are lifted. Whenever we are tranquil about it, then we're not disturbed, and we're peaceful. How can we concentrate even if we never become tranquil? But I can't be tranquil, I'm too affected by everything, and we're always expected to be active anyway. I'm struggling with everything in my power just to survive right now, and being placed under ever growing stress, and I really can't do it for long. Don't worry about it too much, there is a reason you don't know, which I can't talk about here.

How can we concentrate even if we never become tranquil? But I can't be tranquil, I'm too affected by everything, and we're always expected to be active anyway. I'm struggling with everything in my power just to survive right now, and being placed under ever growing stress, and I really can't do it for long. Don't worry about it too much, there is a reason you don't know, which I can't talk about here.

Nik, I would hope that you have someone professional to talk to about something that is eating away at your happiness.... sometimes life's battles become a little much and one needs to talk to their doctor, (or a trustworthy person), to get perspective and to also help them from feeling helpless or sinking... Don't mean to 'preach' to you, but anyhow, that was what I was thinking when I read the above. Cheers, Kizzo

I appreciate it Kiz...I have a pure heart though, and that is all that matters. The thing is when we accept what we can't change, and if we see things as all the same, then we're shown the presence of God or angels. This is how I feel basically all the time. There's another thing I can't talk about, just being separated from my life and my love. Nothing else matters.