Kiz_Paws Bag Of Trix

But where better to rest your troubles at?? Friends and people that care. It's almost a maxim that life does not easier as you get older it just keeps getting. Being a bit of a cowardly sort I have never been an expert on cutting. Your friend would do well is she knew you knew and cared greatly of the consequences. That can go either way--expect rejection of the 'nosiness' or relief that someone 'loves' her anyway. Good luck. As to your sister--men are indeed dogs and I often wonder what power I would have had if my looks matched the smile. I find it often the so-called feisty high living types are the one so susceptable to being abused. There is only one cure--an immediate cease fire and a commitment to never repeat the activity. I salute her hitting back (once then a quick retreat to safety) overwise sounds like a typical military dorm free for all. It is almost impossible to wean someone off the co-dependent bad boys but it can be done with difficulty--these types do not take expulsion well and usually retaliate in annoying ways. Be careful. And it always costs. Takes more courage then most have--or faith to see the rising sun. It's called settling and your sister could do with some quiet contemplation of what she expects life to be. Here if you need me. If I'm out of line the apology is always on wings of consolation. You are a light to all that know and love you and when the darkness comes your light will shine brighter. Mind you it's hard to give advice and neglect the Lord Christ but time spent on the 23rd Psalm can at least rest the soul. Love Rich

Hey, Kizzie, I'm so sorry for all the mess. Things do get tough, sometimes, I know. I'm so sorry for what your sister's going through -- I don't know what I'd do if someone, charmer or no, hurt my sister in any way..... I'm in somewhat the same dilemma with a friend of mine -- she is in recovery from drugs and we're so different and I have no idea what to say to her and how to connect, but she told me that she knew she could count on me. Just be there for her. I knew she was on drugs before she told me but I didn't mention it and she ended up telling me herself, after I showed her some poetry I wrote. Maybe there's something, some hobby, that is really close to both of your hearts? That might open doors. Thinking of you, my friend! ~Andya.

Oh, Kizzo! Hubby or no hubby (& I'm sure Sophie would understand this), I would hug you right now! You, and Billy and your sister - and your Dad, come to think of it. No need to apologize for telling us this: rather, it conveys your faith in the goodness of those who are out here, who have come to have some sense of what a good, loving person you are.

The part about Billy cutting herself hit home particularly hard because I had a student, Josh - maybe the very best writer I worked with in all my years of teaching Creative Writing. And not just a brilliant writer, with a wonderful comic touch, but a thoroughly likeable person with whom I became friends, but--

But I learned through one of his short stories that he was given to having panic attacks and had learned that he could arrest them by mutilating himself. He had been to one or several therapists but in the way of highly intelligent but self-destructive people he had managed to outwit all of them in their efforts to help him. I've lost touch with him now. He was always very private and not communicative in the contact we continued to have for some time after he ceased to be my student.

Please let us know of any GOOD news regarding your sister.

Love
Jer

Dear Kiz, aka the Queen of Bloggarooney & Cheese...

I know that its been a bad day...there is something that you must know though. The darkness that you see, is the feelings that others feel. You are a light in their darkness, so don't let this bring you down. You have a light of kindness that shines so very bright, and others will be drawn to you like a moth to a flame. When the darkness descends, there may come a time when you feel an urge to cough, (I suspect this may happen in the presence of your friend that is cutting herself (himself?) (Billy not sure if its a guy or girl.). Anyways, should you feel this urge, breathe deeply, and when you find a moment alone, cough and cough, let it out...it is the sentiments of dissatisfaction, or unhappiness, or whatever is causing the darkness. I know its difficult to keep on being your cheerful self, but you will manage.

Give your father a hug next time you see him and make it last a little longer...he is doing what fathers do. It is not something he likes, but it is not something he would avoid. When it comes to your husband. You need to understand that he in his own way is being protective of you...He doesn't want to drag this chaos into your happy home. I know it may seem cowardly, but it is probably a wise decision. If you said anything unkind towards him, or if this is causing a rift between you, apologise or talk about it, and just explain to him your frustrations and maybe even your feelings of helplessness.

Finally, when it comes to your sister, you might want to go easy on the talking and just be there for her. Plan some quiet activities or something. She may or may not open up about it, but if she does, there will be tears, and I suspect you may end up coughing.

I didn't comment on the entry with the little girl. That was a very kind thing you did, and I know a lot of people just walked by and or ignored her. You are a genuinely sweet person, and I see brighter days in your future filled with happiness, and meadows of wildflowers. I know its tough sometimes, but keep smiling.

B

(I made this private, because I think its best shared between us, but feel free to share this should you feel the urge.) ps-now that your sister is single....j/k LOL

Kizzo, if your sister's husband or mate or whatever he is is physically abusive, your sister should just leave the house and go to her parents. And call the police from there. Any man that raises his hands to a woman is a dnager to her. I don't think fighting back is wise, except for self defense. And I think it's a good thing your father went over.

Hang in there Kiz. Thinking of you. B

I'm sorry Kiz. It's so easy to get your life in a mess and so hard to fix it. Your sister and Billy are lucky to have you right now. I'm sorry that you have such a load to worry about right now.

I think we've all got our dark times Kiz. Hang in there, and know that I'm here for you just as you have been for me. I think it is something in the winter air that causes things to go crazy this time of year. Just know that they will get better, you keep telling me the same and it is the truth. I think that often, in order to see the good in our lives and the world around us, we must also be submerged within the grief and destruction present. Much Love, Meg

So, let me say that my first thought reading this is how much I'm digging your writing for the simple fact that you've been managing to pack a lot of narrative into a limited space. And I smiled reading that you're kicking back to some good wine, yes yes! Why get all bent when this situation is really not in your control, ya know? I realize it's your sister, which makes it an awful situation to be in. But I don't get your hubby...I mean, he should at least be out there kicking that wife beater's *** some, or if nothing else trashing his car, something. The wife beater needs to be sent a message that there are repurcussions for that kind of behavior, the end. Hang in there, Kizzerwiz, and hell, keep that prose flowing.

Oh Kiz, I really feel for you. Our families can put us through cr*p can't they, not meaning to, but just through the fact that we love them; and friends too. It's a credit to you that you care so much, but sad that it's making you feel so bad. I'm sending you a virtual hug, feel better and enjoy the wine

I am sorry to hear that, Kiz. But after a down there is a up, it's how it works for me. I hope you and your loved ones will get better.

How can a person ever be blue knowing that there are such special friends who care enough to post their thoughts/advice/love through a simple message in a cyber forum? Life really is good, and things are being sorted out now, as we 'speak'. Love you all, Kizzo

Your sister is better off with out that prat. I'm sorry that you are feeling so down, but i hope the ray of sunshine that is you will soon pop out from behind the dark rainclouds that cover you at the moment.

Kizzo, hard goings for you it seems! Your dad sounds like a good guy. Doing what he must do as a father. Don't let it get you down too much. It may seem bleak now, but it won't last forever.

I'm so sorry,Kiz.

'Tis this season -- I had a terrible Christmas -- gifts stolen, stuff like that. I think I have a little seasonal depression disorder coupled with the Christmas blues -- I'm not a "bah humbug" er either. And by the way, Kismet, in situations like you describe here, you are supposed to feel sad or mad, as the case may be. Feeling thus, means your brain chemistry systems are working correctly. And, by the way, you're not a misery sponge just because you have compassion for your sister or maybe, a little girl. And of course, I can't endorse physical violence for retribution, but it feels great sometimes! Sometimes swift consequences are called for. These days, I do a lot of counting to 10, and know that, this too shall pass. Sometimes just putting it out there and knowing you're not alone is the best condiment for powerful feelings. And writing! Or as a great friend of mine says, "feel, deal and heal"._P.

Dear Kiz,


I wish I could console you, but I sort of am bad at it. I hope you stay strong, and that the tables turn for your sister. And I hope your friend realizes the importance of her life through your companionship. I know you make a great friend, but you have to let it out sometimes. Don't restrain yourself, and don't feel to bad. Everything that has happened is beyond your control. May god give you strength.

Love,
craze