Shannanigan's Search for More...

For some reason I can't sleep tonight. It's the latest I've been awake in a long, long time. The girl in the next dorm is up, too, chatting on her phone. She stays up late most nights, and I wonder how it is I see her wide awake each morning at 8 when she stays up so late. She must sleep in the afternoons or something.

What sucks is that I have to be at a radio station at 7:30 in the morning tommorow...or should I say later today? It is, after all, 1:15. I just had to check a watch in my drawer to make sure of the time, lol. I know daylight savings is coming up (already passed?) and we don't change for it down here...but my phone and computer automatically change, and my phone and computer time matched up but my desk clock said it was 2:15. I guess when I was setting the alarm I accidentally added an hour to the time.

The alarm is set to 6:30. That's the earliest it's been set for at least a year. In fact, it's the first time it's been set this semester. I usually get up by around 8 to get to work by 9, no alarm needed. Oh yeah, back on topic. The alarm is set early so I can go to a radio station to promote the play I'm in, and the play is probably the reason I can't sleep. The weekend is the only time I have with my boyfriend lately, and today I had to cut that weekend short to go to rehearsal tonight, so I'm all thrown off and totally missing Chris.

But that's life. Soon enough this will be over. The play starts on Thursday and goes for two weekends, then it's back to the gym. That might be part of the reason I can't sleep as well; I haven't been going to the gym, but I've been all stocked up on sugar and caffeine all weekend, so I haven't burned it off. If it was open, I might go. Oh well.

It does open at 4 am though. If I stay awake all night, which seems like a very likely situation right now, maybe I'll hit the gym before I go to the radio station. That would be pretty cool, I think. I like the gym. I feel so good after a workout...I feel like there's more in me than just brains and a schedule of due dates coming up...

Jamie says she'll join me at the gym after she has her baby, which I am hesitant to believe because I know how much time and attention babies need. I know, mommies need their mommy time, but I don't think Jamie's going to get much mommy time for the first few months, at least. I give the girl major props for being so prepared, so ready, for what's coming her way. She and I are pretty much at the same stage in life...3rd year of college, thinking about student teaching, playing counselors to our younger sisters who just started college...and yet, she's having a baby in a month. I admit that I don't think I could do it. No...I KNOW that I couldn't do it. I don't have it in me to be a mother right now, I can accept that. I'm too selfish...I want to see the world first, meet lots of people, hear millions of stories, taste different foods, experience different cultures, and wear different clothes. I want to do a lot that I probably wouldn't get to do if I had children...at least not responsibly...so I need to hold that off until I've gotten at least part of what I want out of life.

I turn 21 in a little over a month. Legal drinking age in my hometown, though I wonder how I would have survived some nights on this island if drinking age weren't 18 here. I know, alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but it sure does help make you temporarily forget a lot of stressful stuff....I still don't get why 18 year olds can get sent unwillingly to die for their country and yet can't decide for themselves whether they want to drink or not...but that's for another entry.

I would go on more but probably nobody would read it, as this is getting rather long. I'll probably surf the net and find some interesting articles to read. I read one earlier that said a little flirting with other people can help keep a long-term relationship strong, which makes me feel so much better about flirting with my castmates, lol.

Again, another story for another time. For now, I'm off to wander the net. Goodnight everybody.